Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Looks to me like someone talks a good game but really prefers good old Omerta.

ASO President doesn't want Riis at Tour

Patrice Clerc, President of Tour de France organiser Amaury Sport Organisation (ASO), has said he would find it "shocking" to have Team CSC boss Bjarne Riis at this year's event following the Dane's confession of using EPO to win the Tour title in 1996. "The way things are now, I have no interest to work together with these people," he told French newspaper L'Equipe.

Regarding the legitimacy of Riis' victory 11 years ago, which cannot be officially stripped due to the World Anti Doping Agency's eight-year statute on doping offences, Clerc noted, "We can't rewrite history, but for me there will be no winner that year."

Riis has offered to return his yellow jersey, a gesture supported by UCI President Pat McQuaid. "I believe it was mentioned at the press conference that if ASO came to him looking for the jersey, he would give it back to them," said McQuaid. "I think that ethically he should consider this and offer his jersey back."

Asked whether Riis should be forced to give up his position at Team CSC and leave professional cycling entirely, Clerc insisted Riis' explanation should go beyond his personal involvement. "He must explain everything about his team, his riders, their results and the relation to Dr. Cecchini," said the Frenchman. "He must show the secret of his success, otherwise no one will believe him."

Clerc also called on the team's sponsor, Computer Sciences Corporation (CSC), to act, asking, "Why should it always be the riders who pay the price?"

Despite the flood of confessions from active and former riders in recent weeks, the ASO President said: "It doesn't interest me to dig up affairs from the past, unless it helps to understand things."

Saturday, May 26, 2007

More Randomness

More random videos to make up for lack of content.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Pruitt Comes Clean

The following is the text of PruDog's press conference today. Oddly, only Rudolfo Von Chestnut was in attendance.

I come to you today to admit that I too have tested the drug EPO. During a dark period in my racing I went online and reserached the drug EPO. However, after hitting "checkout" my credit card had a bad reaction and I was unable to actually secure the products. Of course, I was totally clean when I won PR. While I hope I have not let anyone down, if I have please buy the new book I have written anyway. It's called "Boring: My Story of not really doing anything worth writting a book about".


I have to say I respect Riis for being the first person I know of who has now admitted doping when he didn't have to, but also for admitting he used it to win. While I don't think his win should be discounted (I mean, let's face it that everyone else was probably doped too) the lack of "I doped, but only in the races I didn't win" is a nice new reveal.

Update: Just to be clear, the new twist I was referring to is admitting he won a race on dope. Most riders who come clean claim they didn't use them to win anything. Although now that I think of it Millar did so I guess Riis is the 2nd.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Random Post

Here's where I post a random Robot Chicken clip as opposed to generating original content.

Is the UCI serious

Erik Zabel has confessed to using EPO. This is huge. Now we'll see if the UCI is serious about combatting doping. I am pretty unimpressed by how they reacted to Basso. Is he a cool guy? I don't know. But riders who confess need to know they will get leniency. Basso may only get a reduced sentence because his confession came after it was clear he was in legal trouble; but Zabel could have kept his mouth shut and been fine. His confession is completely unforced from a legal point of view.

If the UCI does anything but grant him amnesty then they are part of the problem.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Does anyone

Seriously like point a lap races at PR? Shut-up Jamie!

Friday, May 18, 2007

offered without comment

Offered without comment.

Personal to Mustang Owner

Next time you break into my car to steal my Nav System you may a) want to take the power supply so you can actually sell or use it and b) not leave your car parked behind mine long enough for me to get both the license plate and car description. Just some helpful advise for what will probably not be a very good career in crime.

Worst. Criminal. Thief. Ever.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Buy Coffee

For the next month I suggest you ignore the portly, aging guy weazing at the back of the pack and instead go check out 53x11 coffee.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Sad Days

For those who missed it, PStache called me out yesterday on his blog. While I was initially skeptical of his ability to deliver more than childish taunts, the video below shows that he did in fact destroy poor PDog.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Where's PDizzle?

He's taking a break from Weekend racing.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Weekend Blog Roundup

Once again, it's time for me to read everyone's blog so you don't have to.

Stangeland: Ha! I reeled you in with semi-regular posts only to let my blog go dead for another 6 months. Fools!
Old As Dirt: You are all a bunch of poachers. Ha!
Rob: I poached your race and I'll do it again.
Cooler than Dirt: I really try, but I am just too nice to start a flame war. What??? Someone is screwing with Tandem records at RAAM? I'll kill them! Argkcjjadsfghaklgj.
Argentenplusfiveandahalf: I am sad. (ed-don't feel bad; jan fans were there once too)
Craigster: Conville scares me. (ed- quit ducking me man)
Sideshow: Hey, why don't you accuse me of poaching? I am fast you know. Todd and Cree said so. (ed- 3am at Kem's house... I am ready for you!)
2xC: I am tired. (ed-No, don't sleep! Craig needs a whoopin')
KMan- (ed- frankly, his content is better than mine; go read it an forget this blog exists).

And finally, a reminder of who your true lord and master is.

Tubbs contemplates life and how he will destroy PruDog

Want to love a Dirty Moose?

Evan Schmitt will be showing his film, One, which is all about you, the NW Bike Racer, at the UW Ethnic Cultural Theater Saturday at 6pm.

You should go check it out. 1st it's cool. 2nd it's cool. and 3rd it helps out the UW Cycling Team.

Darth Tubbs to PDog: Sit You Ass Down

We recieved the following letter today from our favorite local Sith Lord:

PFizzle~ I let you win one race, 1 lousy race and all I hear from you is "I'm the best" and "I crushed Tubbs" and
wow Tubbs can't climb" and "I own Tubbs". Well I have had it with you PSucker. I am coming at you like 599lbs of pure pain. Tuesdays crushing defeat was only the beginning. That mechanical? I merely gave your chain my death glare. The pure fear caused it to go wild on you. I took that sprint with one leg. So be ready. Cause the pain is coming. The pain train baby. Woooowooo. And Smith.. don't think I didn't see you smirking behind my back at Longbranch!

Darth Tubbs practices his Death Glare.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Why Basso will only admit to attempted doping

Via velonews.
May I suggest the following for the various anti-doping authorities. If you don't know what BATNA is, then you really shouldn't have anything to do with the fight against doping.
Riders are not going to admit to anything if it means that their lives will be ruined. You can argue all you want about right or wrong. It simply isn't in their best interests.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007


Anyone notice that when I commend it now calls me AxleyUSA? Interestingly I didn't change it. Blogger appears to have changed my commenting name to my email address.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

JZO to WSBA: I'd win more but your races are too easy.

JZO wants you all to know that if the races were harder, he'd roll over all of you like Doug Reid rolls me with his powerful Kungfu Pushing grip (tm).

PS my knee still hurts thanks for asking.

Defender Time

Time to go defend my PR title.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Yo Craigbert

Personal To Harringsontonaitorific.

The Demon Won't Let Me Be

Oh Surly Demon. After my Glorious Destruction of PR (tm) last week I got a little carried away with the obligatory parties, press conferences, ESPN12 interviews and such. Now The Demon (tm) has attacked me and I am oozing green snot. Yuck. I tried to ride The Demon out by doing 3 hours with The Pain Train, Handsome Man and the Surly Duo Saturday. Just to be safe I threw in some Mojito to celebrate Mexican Alcohol Dependence Day. Oddly this only my my hacking worse.....

We all know that had The Demon not attacked my fragile body, I would have been posting up like Kungfuku (Team WifeBeater).

Of course, all those NCAA races didn't teach Kungfuku to zip his damn jersey up before hitting the line. Yo Dude, next time through in a couple gold chains for the full effect.

Now, I am not positive but I don't think either KungFuku or Zimbleman have WSBA licenses or are Washington State residents (Kungfuku is from Mercer Island IIRC but was living in CA last year). So does that mean Galen is State Champ? Really, this WSBA thing is stupid. You should have to be a resident.

Linky Linky Update!
Craigbert made it in under the wire to retain his link with a pretty lame-ass post clearly desgned to avoid banishment. You suck Craig. And I don't care if you paid your way through college doing it.

Pleasure Jackson, on the otherhand, is well beyond the 1 month rule. Sorry Pleasure.. I know selling phone lines 20 hours a week is exhausting. So any suggestions on who shall be the newest link?

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Angelo Murfa wins PIR

Unfortunately, it was the Cat 4 finish. Sorry man!

For whatever reason, people want me to link to their blogs. Don't you know you should not be reading blogs? That is why you all suck. You read blogs and don't train.

But, in the interest of showing off my amazing blogging influence I will in fact update the links. But I will only replace existing links.. so here's your warning Harringbone. If you can't bother to update more than once a month you are done.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Kicked In The Head Blogging

Sorry it has taken so long to update the blog. But I just got done with Vance Creek, which I hear may be a protour race next year. Maybe if I hadn't gotten half my clifshots on my face when I tried to eat I could have managed faster than 2 miles per hour.

Anyhoo I see we are going to need to have the WSBA hire trauma counselors for us.

Normally I would be all for letting the raging Rob-oversy rage. But... I haven't called out Tubbs for a real long time. Yo Tubbs! Your back should be fine by now. Time to unleash your trademark death attack on the Northwest. Bring it!