Elma: Clash of the Titans

Or is it Vance Creek? Either way remember: that's not dirt getting splattered in your face. And forget who will win. The big question on everyones mind: Can Harm keep it upright this time?

WA Cup Trash Talking

I finally got the Washington Cup Standings Updated. And In All Caps. Or Not.

The complete standings should be posted over at wsbaracing.com shortly but for those who lack patience (meaning all racers):

Mens Standings
1 James Stangeland (Wines of Washington) 325
2 Rob Campbell - Team Bobs-Bicycles.com 230
3 Ian Tubbs - Hagens-Berman 200
4 Tom Peterson - Team Slipstream p/b Chipotle 175
5 Nathan Smith (Garage Racing) 164
6 Lang Reynolds - AxleyUSA.com p/b Seigler Sports 150
7 Michael Emde - AxleyUSA.com p/b Seigler Sports 140
8 Michael Murdin (Garage Racing) 131
9 Adrian Hegyvary (Hagens-Berman) 100
10 Mike Gallagher - Team Bobs-Bicycles.com 100
11 Jake McArthur - Arlberg Sports 90
12 Chris Teufel (Garage Racing) 78
13 Fischer Andrew (Hagens-Berman) 75
14 Kyle Valenta (CMG) 75
15 Brian Griffith - Excel Sports 75
16 Will Routley [Symmetrics Pro Cycling] 60
17 Richard McLung (Hagens Berman LLC) 60
18 Nikos Mills - Garage Racing 57
19 Ross Spero (Hagens-Berman) 56
20 Gavin Groves - Benaroya Research Institute 54

Womens Elite
1 Suzie Weldon (Wines of Washington) 315
2 Jadine Riley (Team Group Health) 205
3 Tricia Bailey (Wines of Washington) 180
4 Dana Robertson Halter (Team Group Health) 175
5 Lea Stralka (ByrneInvent) 165
6 Sirikit Valentin (Wines of Washington) 160
7 Carrie Eller (Avanti / TiCycles) 155
8 Amy Schmid (Wines of Washington) 150
9 Lisa Dunnwald (Team Group Health) 135
10 Victoria Reinholz (Avanti / TiCycles) 130
11 Kari Bolton (Avanti / TiCycles) 118
12 Gina Kavesh (Wines of Washington) 94
13 Julie Robertson Zivian (ByrneInvent) 83
14 Layrel Gitlen (Gentle Lovers) 75
15 Moriah Macgregor [ae sport development] 75
16 Allison Beall (Avanti / TiCycles) 75
17 Kelly Murdin [Ultralink] 60
18 Lee Smith (Group Health) 60
19 Debra Preller (ByrneInvent) 53
20 Patricia Bailey [Wines of Washington] 45

Masters.. oh who cares. Todd is so going to win this it's insulting to post anymore. Come on Hill... don't you have any pride?? You only need to win the next 3 rounds.

Now Rob posted the following in comments:

PruDog, can you link my blog? I have one now...

http://camrobblog.blogspot.com

Campbell

I realize that seems innocent enough. But I know Rob and the secret code those Bobs-Bicycle.com guys speak and what Rob really means is:

Strangeglovelover is a over-rated sissy and I am going to crush him. I will destroy his fragile ego and take his leaders jersey which rightfully belongs to me. SO it is written. So it is told.

Now that seems a bit bold Rob, but hey man if you are willing to lay it out like that then I am putting my money on a late surge by Bobs-Bicycle.com Hitsquad.

Letter To Editor Blogging

So a vicious 3 week jaunt is done and my head is finally beginning to settle back on my body. I had looked forward to a nice welcome home. But what do I get? Nothing but vicious, nasty letters. Well screw you guys.

Dear PDog~
Your nickname is stupid. And you are stupid. I hate you. I have read your blog for years. And all I ask for was one comment on my blog. But you can't even answer my emails. You suck.

Really Critchety Old Guy.

RCOG~
Hey man I am sorry. I would go post on your blog right now but.. well "ReallY Critchety Old Guy" isn't specific enough for me to know who I pissed off here. I mean, the average age on our team alone is like 65. Jeebus. But I'll go try to be nice to every old guy I knwo right now.. except O'Donnell. I am not talking to him until I get my $13.

P

Dear PDog!
Yo man. I was like your biggest fan. But I send you like 10 emails a day and you never email me back. What's wrong with you?

~Stan

Stan,

I heard Eminem is looking for a cool dude to hang out with.. I am emailing you his home phone number right now.

P

PDog,

Your blog sucks. You can't climb. You pick on helpless unattached dudes who claim they were "semi-pro" bike racers on their blog but can't even ride a paceline. Lame. My one good elbow is better than you ever were.

PStache

Oh.. you just wait Stache. You just wait.

P

B!

Gangs of Axley

Walla Walla Throw Down Break down..
Wayans destroys the TT and Bobs-Bicycles.com destroys themselves for Wayans. Hagens-Berman refuses to lie down and Axley pulls out Tony Starks to catch everyone offguard to nearly snake the race on stage 3. Pain. Suffering. A race wort winning. And a pair of Axley Eyewear on the top 5 riders. Sweet.

GC
1. Matt Weyens (Bobs-Bicycles.com)
2. Joe "Tony Starks" Wiley (AxleyUSA.com p/b Bon Appetit)
3. Sam "The Poodle" Johnson (Hagens Berman LLC)

Amateurs

As reported by Cyclingnews.

Landis' B samples to be tested


The panel hearing doping accusations against Tour de France winner Floyd Landis has granted a request made by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency to have French lab Chatenay-Malabry test the 'B' urine samples taken during the race, even though the 'A' samples collected simultaneously tested negative.

Of the seven samples Landis gave during the Tour, only one came back with an elevated testosterone:epitestosterone ratio during the 'A' sample analysis, and only that one sample was subjected to carbon isotope testing to determine whether the source of the testosterone was not naturally made in his body. The 'IRMS' testing showed evidence of exogenous testosterone in Landis' sample, and now the US Anti-Doping Agency wants the rest of his 'B' samples subjected to the same analysis.

Of course, this analysis would not result in new doping charges for Landis, even if the tested 'B' samples came back positive. On the contrary, USADA hopes that the procedure will shed some light into the testing methods used at the Chatenay Malabry laboratory in Paris, where the initial adverse analytical finding was established. The Landis camp previously objected to the testing of the samples.

However, in the arbitrator's ruling, it is said that "further 'B' sample testing is not within the two sample protocol because the result does not lead to an adverse analytical finding. The argument of the Respondent [Landis - ed.] is one to put up a protective shield that would never permit anyone knowing what the 'B' tests might reveal. That is not a search for the truth or to understand all the facts involved in the matter."

Further, the panel argued that "in making the foregoing ruling, if the methodologies of the Lab are indeed flawed, as alleged by the Respondent, then, the appointment of an expert by the Panel to review the operation of the Lab’s IRMS and GC/MS equipment will provide the protection for the Athlete. The Panel’s expert will identify if there are flaws in the testing equipment. Therefore, the interests of the Athlete are protected in permitting an analysis of the 'B' samples through the role of the Panel’s expert. That expert will have determined if the methodologies are flawed."

Landis' hearing is scheduled to begin on May 14, 2007, in Malibu, California.

I don't even know were to begin. If this is an accurate representation of the panels reasoning then they are idiots. Forget science class, did they even study logic in college?

PStache

Bringing the sexy back to NW racing. Photo by Amara.

I'm Back

SeaOtter is over. Now I am back to terrorize you with my wit. You've been warned.

You think those are hot..

Wait until you see the New PruDogs and Stun Gunner glasses. Now all we need is a Boots model.

The Ohop

Maybe you saw this sexy beast at Boat Street. Here's a pic for you to drool over. Now go talk about my Powerslide of Fear in Corner 3.

Just In

Emde wins Flatlands; Onger 3rd. Pruitt dominates Schmeer on training ride, then wakes up and gets pummelled by Schmeer on actual training ride.

Personal to Argentinopolficius.. I have a more 1st Rate friendly Raptor frame for you...

Holy Calamity

Scream Insanity: El Gato better win this one.

Weekly Blog Round-Up

I read the blogs so you don't have to:

Sexy: I like Nutella. A lot. But it is not a fetish! Unless by fetish you mean that it turns me on! Baby!
Tom Peterson: I ain't made it until I've managed to scare off all the chicks that visit my blog. You suck! And I can beat you by 10 minutes. Ha. (ed- man I hate you and your vile fitness level. one day you'll be sorry for being so fast!)
CoachCurly: I have *a lot* of free time.
Stangeland: I so kicked your guys asses early and I am so still kicken your asses.
Stoked: I can't help but notice I like riding my bike in places that OAD and the rest of you aren't. I don't think it's a coincidence.
Craigerific: I'm with the Turtle.
2xC: I am a dork. Yet, still sponsor correct!
PruDog: Screw you Conville! (ed- you didn't post that, pdog - I just did)
Stache: If I didn't hate you all already, I'd take my anger out on all of you. Instead I can only dwell in my own pitiful existence. Damn you Florida.

It's OK if you don't win

I've been dwelling (obssessing) a bit lately on what it is about guys like Crazy Cameron, Paul The Protester and Turtle that get the Reptilion core of my brain in such a lather.

And I think I know what it is.. I really don't react well to people who play the victim and then abuse other people when they lose or the race isn't going their way.

Which in a round about way got me to the point of today's post. It's OK if you don't win. Seriously. In fact, the chances that you will win on any given day or night are pretty low. And my experience is the more pressure you put on yourself to win, the more frustrated you are going to get.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't try. It doesn't mean you can't ride a great race. But, it does mean that if you put such a great amount of pressure on yourself that you cannot psychologicaly deal with not winning unless you yell, push and scapegoat other people then you need to sit down and get some help. Because at that point you aren't a bicycle racers. You're just a bully.

Now, I know that sometimes our adrenalin gets the better of us and we do and say stupid things in the heat of the moment. God knows I've given out my fair share of undeserved scoldings (which I usually immediately regret and apologize for) and recieved them as well. The thing is, if you find yourself constantly getting "screwed" in races you have to look at the common denominater (you). Stop being the victim and take ownership of your racing.

Update I:
As a side note 2 out the 3 riders mentioned above upgraded without points. Paul strikes me as a Graham Brown type.. I may think he's a loose canon and a reckless bully. But he does win races. So he channels that into wins. CC and Turtle both upgraded without points and only seem to race training races (CC races Masters on the weekends) and are pretty clearly outclassed even at PR. And let's be honest; PR is 75% Cat 3 riders. I remember being a Cat 3 and being outclassed by Cat 2 riders. Which makes sense, they were Cat 2s. I got frustrated, but after awhile I got over the fact I was outclassed and started figuring out how to get better and eventually got my points and upgraded. I won 3 or 4 races the year I upgraded and even then remember being nervous. If not for the fact that we ran a lot of the spring races as combined Cat 2/3 fields anyway I probably would have waited another year. Anyway, this all makes me wonder if we are doing ourselves or other riders any favors by letting people upgrade or being so hell bent on upgrades ourselves.

The big difference in the Cat 1/2 and the Cat 3 field is that guys don't upgrade away. And the ones that do "upgrade" to NRC and/or Pro racing generally come back. So you end up racing against guys with a lot of experience under their belt. If someone's sense of cycling identity is not yet deleveped enough to deal with being beaten down on a regular basis until they get better is that really good for the sport locally? Wouldn't we be doing ourselves and them a favor by encouraging them to race 3s a bit longer and then upgrade? Would it matter? These are pretty undeveloped thoughts on my part just some stuff that occured to me as I was kitting up for a ride.

The Ohop

No not the race. As many of you know, when I am not trying to find someone to harangue out of boredom or suggesting we beat each other with hockey sticks I own an eyewear company. And said company has a new item in stock: The Ohop. Yah, that's right. The Ohop. Named after the race you all hate to love .. I mean love to hate.

Photochromic live; slim design. Right now worn by Morgan, Richter and a few lucky Wines guys who got upgraded from the Ozones they originally ordered. Limited run of 300. Sweet.

Cyclo-Hockey

Given the strong support* for the brawl that I didn't get into with My Bitch (tm) at PR last night I think it's time to revive my idea for spicing up local racing.

Cyclo-Hockey. That's right. We put up a padded wall and bleachers. Give everyone a hockey stick and full on DownHill gear. And then start racing. The winner is the last guy standing. Maybe no high-sticking but anything else goes.

Or, my other idea was hire Terrible Terry Tate, Office Linebacker, to officiate. Instead of a warning he would just come flying out of the sidelines to tackle any randy and uncouth cyclist in the field. Of course I am sure I'll end up on the tarmac a few times, but it is worth it.

*by strong support we mean Andrew.

Good News

I have my 2007 bitch. And his name is Pat Peterson.

Carpool back from PR

I was kind hoping to ride down to PR tomorrow. That way when I solo to victory it will be even more impressive and I can get that contract from QuickStep that Boonen keeps asking them to give me.

Anyone wanna give me a ride home? Anyone? I promise to not make fun of you/make fun of you (depending on your preference, I don't judge) for a full week.

Can I be too heroic?

That's the question I pondered on the drive home from Nooksak/NorthShore/Death Race '07. I mean, anyone can cure cancer or run into a burning orphanage to save babies. But how many of you would give up your wheel in a race to a team mate? Especially one nicknamed Mr. Boots. Anyway, the car ride home was somewhat embarrasing as Boots gushed over my selfless act. Now Captain Hammer and the Stallion both galiantly (which is almost heroic, but not quite) waited for Boots and paced him back to the field. I heard Stallion even cleaned Boots bike on the way back to the field. So I was concerned they weren't getting the 30 seconds of credit they deserved.

Anyway, I missed Sequim because I had to wait by the phone in case Bush called to give me a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Sure I hate the guy, but when you turn him down I hear Cheney shoots you in the face.