We are all Ninjas

So Stage 6 came and went. Chad Nikolz jumped in the car with me so we could feed Broadmark as well as the Axley USA Super Hyper Hit Squad Go. In retrospect, this may have been more energy than a Chevy Van can contain. While Rad was a calming influence Chad and I fed off each others energy as well as 16 Red Bulls for an exciting day. A very exciting day.

Other then locking up the brakes at 60 mph and nearly killing Team Mesa's caravan car the race was mild until Blue Knob Mark II. Then the field exploded. Chad was passing out water and power hand-offs like candy. We found Trevor and debated if it was ethical to pull him to the front at 60 mph. Chad almost had me conviced when Trevor, perhaps fearing for his life, let go. We found Adam as well. The dude was fighting through Stage 7 of on eof the hardest US Cycling Races. And he'd only been Cat 2 for 2 weeks.

Derik's cage broke, dropping him from the main group. We took the cage and tried to help him up but he decided to wait for Trevor. We got up to the field and found Lang and Omer. After feeding the whole group (with minor preference given to Axley, BMark and Priority Health) we sped up to chase 4 were we found Nick. We were then deputized by the race as comm 4 and told to stay with the chase. Dude, you are all DQ'd for not waiting for Lang and Omer! Take that. It was crazy. But, you probably had to be there.

Today we are all Ninjas. Trevor and Adam missed the cut for the crit but Derik, Omer and Lang have plans to pulll off the upset.

Stepping back I am proud of these guys. Our GC results aren't great but we made it through with all our riders. I think with a little more savvy/experience we could have gone better. We got caught out in some crashes maybe we could have avoided. Derik's mechanical is a lesson learned. I know I learned a lot about driving. Like never do it again. Omer's leadership was invaluable, even when it came at 60 mph viia 2 middle fingers extended in my direction :) And I think we might be having the most fun. So eat that Toyota United.

I can't wait to get home and see my wife and kid though, and I miss my bike too.

Stage 5 wrap and 6 pre-race.

Today is Blue Knob, and we will blow the race apart. Or ourselves. Probably ourselves. Didn't get a shot at running over Stallion again, but thanks to a 10K to go stack (damn you man-bear-pig) I got a good shot at Derik & Omer. Unfortunately as I was trying to line Little O and Hedgehog up on my bumper for a nice brake-check Alberto Tiberio (Health Net) jumped on the roof of the van and started yelling at me to kick it. Now, Omer seemed a little annoyed as I sped off. But dude, Tiberio is like 8 feet tall and eats babies. Really. I saw it on E Cycling: True Story. I ain't messin' with that dude. In fact, I gave him all our water and food and begged him not to hurt me.

Joe Holmes, we need you so bad!

Derik managed to get back in so we finished 3 guys in the main group, with Omer and Trevor a few behind. We still have all 5 guys, which is pretty amazing. Some teams are pretty ragged and if we all finish there's a good chance all 5 guys will line up for the crit tomorrow.

Chad (Broadmark) will be riding shot gun in the car today. Office pool on how long before he pukes from my driving.

Sam (Broadmark) had a gutty ride, getting dropped on the feedzone and clawing back into the field, only to get dropped next time through. Luckily the caravan is about 18 cars long and he was able to hang out for a looooong time before the moto-official chopped him out. Made the time cut and lives to fight another day.

Stage 4 Wrap: Crash!

There was a huge crash today 8 miles in caused when a wild man-bear-pig ran onto the course. Damn you Al Gore! Luckily, Derik, Adam and Trevor were able to fight their way free. The incident has not helped Derik's mood. He has proclaimed me worst DS ever for trying to pace the crash group back to the field. Dude, if you can't handle 15-35 mph speed changes and last minute turns you shouldn't race! The good news is his senility should kick in and he'lll forget all about it by tomorrow. I also missed my 2nd chance to run over Stallion. I can't miss my next one.... despite my best efforts to crash them again they managed to finish only 15 or so down.

Little O made the 1st move but was chased down. Oh well. He has a firm hold of leadership of the team on 98th GC.

I am concerned about Ling Ling. He is riding well, finishing in the main group each daay. But he says if we keep calling him Ling Ling he will kill us. I am not sure what he is trying to say. He is becoming increasingly bitter and keeps asking people how much to cap PDog. Not sure what that means either. Kids. If I don't post within the next 48 hours call the cops.

Stallion: Media Whore

Trevor gets it were it counts: front page of the Altoona Mirror

Tour de Toona Stage 3: Wrap up

Ling Ling has boosted the team van to go buy a kitten. It will give the dorm personality plus the chicks dig kittens. But get your own damn car you kid. I fear the wild, party like lifestyle of a big time cycling team (say, like Axley USA) will crush his naive soul and send him into haze of booze-fueled womenizing. Without El Gato we have lost our moral compass.

I tried to kill Trevor on the 1st big decent, masking it as an attempt to feed, but he was too wiley and managed to evade the semi parked in the road. Now the Jelly Belly team wants to kill me. Luckily I told them my name is Joe Holmes. Sorry Joe.

Derik somehow managed to survive the day, despite the onset of various age related diseases. I think he forgets that we've already been racing and that's how he stays so fresh and clean in the field.

Tomorrow I am getting a keg and handing up Olde English in the Sheet's Fizzinator, a sweet 1560 OZ cup/keg.

Pulling it together: Toona Stage 2

Well, somehow we managed to show up to the start. I was worried because Hedgehog only got 10 hours of sleep and couldn't find any Ensure. The Stallion was moody and Omer hid the Coca Cola. But Ling Ling was sitting 180th on GC after the prologue so we have a shot at most improved rider jersey. Pulled the troops together and got on the road. The radio didn't work so we road blind in the caravan. That was for the best cause I spent most of the race bumping the Rite Aid BMW and dodging mystery boulders in the road. I drank all the Clif Shot anyway.

Field finished together, any splits happened on the run into the finish. We told Ling Ling it's flat tomorrow and to attack at the gun. hehehee.

PS Super congrats to C-Nik (Broadmark) for his 2nd plave behind Garcia at Boise.

Hooters here I come

The Hedgehog has arthritis and needs to be carried up the dorm steps. I think Lang is drinking and Omer is heckling me. Only Adam is properly respectful. I think I am going to spend Stage 2 at Hooters instead of feeding these jokers.

Thank you sir

Mrs. PDog just pointed out the Barb's Triathlon and Folsom Int'l Tri are 10 days after I get back from Toona, not 3. Thank you! Man I was not looking forward to what I thought would be 17 out of 20 days on the road.

I haven't commented on the Sonics sale. Honestly, I am sadder to see the Storm go. But I won't miss Howard's whinging. I am not privvy to all the specifics of the lease, but Howard's track record of successful business ventures outside of the BUX is pretty bad. And it strikes me that the problems with the Sonics have more to do with them being a bad team. Ackerly may have started that (or perhaps more accurately Wally Walker) but the current ownership group didn't help.

I like the rain...

93 degrees at 11pm. Argghhhh.

Here was a letter I got:

PDOG~
Love the 'Ru. Great machine. Heard you were getting it wrapped. Great idea. I got some garbage bags and Joe "Porn Star" Holmes has some tinfoil. We can get it looking nice.

~Liam McKissilman

LM

Well, it easier than cleaning it isn't it? And Dude! Do not be capping on the 'Ru. The 'Ru is a hard car made from hard times. She will crush you for your insolence, once I get the oil leak fixed, the doors worked on, the catalytic converter worked on...... (cont. page 567)

PDog

Toona here we come...

It's too hot to blog. The only good news is that we are heading to the land of cool breezes.. Altoona, PA. Yes, that's sarcasm. Anyway, without my usual snark cause I can barely breath in this heat:

Axley USA roster for Toona
Omer "The Big O" Kem
Lang Reynolds
Derik "The Hedgehog" Archibald (alernative nickname Derik "not Derick, or Derrik or Dirk" Archibald)
Adam Branfman
Trevor "The Stallion" Mays

Jokes to follow.

Note to Cascade Crew

Hey! be nice to the 'Ru. She is a good girl and has not been treated well by certain people (anyone remember the Dirty Monkey).

Questions...

"Boom Boom Room": Strip club or Gay Bar? Not sure I am willing to take the risk to find out.

Update: Strip Club.

Pics of Stage 2: Cascade

Some cools pics of Stage 2 at Descantes, plenty of Priority Health dishing out the Pain. Nice shot of Little O driving the pace. Nice to see the Local Boys delivering it.

Were's PDog

PDog will be in Portland this weekend working the STP finish. PPuppy is skinny and needs food.. so go buy some eyewear from AxleyUSA.

Cascade Update: Zirbel delivers the pain

Big O just sent me the news that Tommy "Thor's Hammer" Zirbel won today's stage. No word on GC impact or other guys. Way to deliver the pain train!

Help Wanted.

That's right, cycling may finally get you a job. Now that we have some of our supply chain issues sorted out Axley USA needs some Sales Reps. Basically:

Need to be comfortable selling and servicing running, ski and cycling shops
Willing to do field work such as vendor booths in your region
Believe in the product
Manage Your own time.

Currently, we pay comission (better than industry average). Wouldn't be a fulltime job yet; but our goal is to have Axley-dedicated reps down the line.

You know me, so if interested tackle me Triple T style.

You don't even know

Levi, I wanted you to win so bad you don't even know!

Audi Update

So we took the Audi to Carl's to get the sunroof raplaced and his reaction upon looking at it? "Looks like the frame is too tight". Yah, we know. Can you call Audi to tell them that?

I am finishing up a very long, well documented letter that should make their eyes bleed.

And as I tell people the story I've yet to meet anyone who had a good experience with the service department. Apparently there are even anti-University Audi user groups. That's sad.

You Kill The Joe, You make some mo'

A blast from the past: Triple T brings it.

Why Lieberman

In the world of commentary there is a lot of handwringing over the "blogoshpere" (read: dailykos) decision to heavily push for Ned Lamont against Joe Lieberman.

Basically, the commentators seem to be working very hard to find some basic inconsistency and radicalism in the anti-joe position. And they get wrapped up in Joe's support of the war in Iraq. I find this as odd as the kossola "scandal" were Kos supposedly supported Brown after originally supporting Paul Hackett.

I guess if you only reas Kos occasionally or don't understand how the dailykos in general works you could get confused. But the position has been pretty clear.

It's not Joe's support of Iraq perse that is objectionable. It's the sanctimonius way he supports the war. Like Bush, he treats anyone who disagrees with him as supporters of terrorism. I think Bob hits this point towards the end of this bloggingheads.tv segment. Beyond that, Lieberman's voting record is actually republican. I understand Kaus's support of politicians voting there belief above party loyalty, but the Kos response is that if you vote Republican 80% of the time then you are in fact a Republican. And further, those votes do not reflect the over all desire of CT voters. At some point politician need to balance their personal preferences over that of the voters. And Kos would additionally make the argument that Lieberman doesn't even get the "voted his belief" vote because on several issues he clearly attempted to present his position as more liberal than it was.. for example voting against the bankruptcy bill but then voting for cloture knowing that effectively allowed the bill to pass.

Fear Me

That's right my little ones, I am not racing cascade. That was just a placeholder for the team. I am in fact staying local this week to give out tickets to the PDog Pain Buffett. And let me tell you, I dealt plenty of pain at PR. To myself anyway. I didn't see anyone else looking particularly hurtin'. But I can tell you my right leg isn't talkin' to me this morning.

PS Jamie... what part of "code W" don't you understand! Man, I sense a Bastardo list coming again....

Axley Hit Squad Version 2.0

Tomorrow AM Joe Holmes (on loan from BRI) hits the mean streets of I-5 with El Gato. Once there, they will morph into Priority Health DS and rider for Cascade Classic along with Little O and The McKissik. Solid. Ride hard boys. I will be here, whinging about my quad and perhaps taking up smoking to fit in with my new baseball pals.

A Real Baseball Player..

I must be a real baseball player now because I pulled the top of my quad muscle in my first at bat Sunday. Next up: I will go on the DL by slipping in the shower and pullling my groin.

On a side note, Mrs. PDog says that the top of the quad is a very very sore spot for runners after a marathon. WTF??? I mean, it hurt. Bad. I've never hurt the top of my quad before. Why wish that pain upon yourself??

Update: for the record Mrs. PDog thinks I am a wuss who can't handle pain.

SeaFair Health & Fitness Expo

If you are at the Expo in Bellevue, swing by and say high. Axley will be representing.

Who's the King?

Congrats to McKissik on his first Natz Champ. Also, shout out to Kenny who got the Bronze. 2 out of 3 from the Northwest-izzle.

Something to consider

A good point about what we do in Iraq.

Today's Post

I got nothin'.
Except Baseball.

Folsom triathlon

It looks like Axley USA will be at the Folsom Triathlon. Is anyone interested in joining me on a team? I'll do the bike.

Lifetime Ban for Tyler Hamilton?

The UCI may ban Tyler for life? From a fairness point of view, even if he is guilty (looks likely) isn't that double jeopardy? Maybe I misunderstood but I thought the evidence they found on him was from before he tested positive and started the 2 year suspension. So hasn't he already been punished for this one? It's just more evidence to confirm his initial suspension?

Did ya know?

Chatting with Chad in the feedzone at Tahoe (back when I had a sunroof) I discovered not everyone know's Mrs. PDog is pregnant. So for those that somehow don't know, well now you do. And I want to say for the record that Mrs. PDog is super hot, especially when pregnant.