Wednesday Morning Mailbag

Ahh, another day another PR in the books. A good craftsman never blames his tools, but since I am not a good craftsman....

I could blame my utter lack of impact Tuesday night on my bent der. hanger (which made any out-of-saddle attack a bit scary) but to quote Michael Skinner, "I got nuthin' absolutly nuthin". I even saw the bridge go and couldn't move to get on it. So I spent most of the night sitting in and covering a couple moves. But, to quote Skinner again "There's plenty more fish in the sea". Unfortunately that fish is Tour de' Nez were I'll get to sit on the rivet every day just to get 123,409ths.

Now enough about me, let's get on to the mailbag. I had a guest columnist lined up, but he bailed on me. So I gotta do this myself.

Dear PDog,
You f*&^ing bastardo! What was that move you pulled last night????? I've seen Cat 5 guys on Crack ride a straighter line than you. I'm still trying to get the rocks out of my arse.

~Doug

Doug,
I am really sorry about that. I don't know what happened. It was lined out and this masters guy who jumped into our field was in front swerved and I had no choice. I am sorry man.

Dear PDog,
What the hell was that last night? I saw the whole thing. Don't even try to blame the masters like I know you will. You had plenty of time to see them before you got there. Dude, no wonder they hate you in Silverton.

PS, watch yourself on the corners.

~Craig

Craig,
Jeez. What are you my mother? Ok so maybe I had my head down. Maybe it was my fault. I blame my rear der. hanger.


Dear PDog,
I am the wife of a local cyclist. It was bad enough that he races all the time, but when he doesn't race he is always travelling. And when he's not travelling or racing he's posting on his blog. I don't know what to do. He was so kind and sweat when we met. Now instead of asking me about my day he gives me detailed accounts of every race he does. I don't care if he was in his 53x12 and needed a 53x11 to get the 2 prime. What do I do?
Mrs. PDog

Mrs. PDog,
That's a tough one. Your husband sounds like an ass. I'd... wait a minute. My lawyer just told me to respond "no comment".

Dear PDog
I am a former hotshot sprinting star. I'm making my big comeback, but when I am racing the Masters races no one will help me out. I keep trying to attack but all they do is snicker at me. And when I ask them if they are doing any good Centurions they insult my creme broule. What do I do.
~I'm From Back East

Craig,
One word. Skinsuit. Two words. Not Flattering. Right now you just aren't intimidating anyone. You are carrying a bit extra weight and your kit choice isn't helping. Try all black, or something with pinstripes. It's slimming. Then, instead of babbling about Centurions try discussing manly topics. Like hunting. Or Thundercats.


Well that's it for today. Gotta get back to the bake sale.