Unicorns are Awesome

Posted by Fake Ian Mensher.

Hey everyone! It’s Ian Mensher here. So far this year I’ve had the perfect build up to my defense of the Thursday Night World Galaxy Universe Championships. While Stanglsheen is riding with violent hatred tinged with belief and girls or something I can sit back in the field and concentrate on whats important. Unicorns.

Listen, I know you’re thinking “What the hell is he talking about? Unicorns? What is that about?” Hey man, I hear you loud and clear. See, you’re thinking of regular Unicrons. I’m talking about those super cool Unicorns from ThunderCats that had the magic rings that could make you fly. See, last year I took my game up a notch. But, let’s be honest, there is only so much training I can do before it cuts into quality time with my hair. So I asked myself, what would Cipo do? He’d find an edge. That something extra that allows him to win and still maintain that porn-ready physique and hair at all times. Never know when that call to the big show will come!

Now I don’t live in Italy so I asked myself “Ian, how do you stay so hot while being so fast?”. The answer my friends? That’s right: Unicorns with magical rings! Imagine how surprised the field will be when they finally reel me back in, I pull out the ring and fly away. Of course my hair will be glistening in the moist spring air. That’s just a given.

So, that’s what I am thinking about friends. How to get to third earth so I can get me my Unicorn with magic flight ring. I just hope that loser Lion-O isn’t there. That guy seriously needs a haircut.