Who wants to win a bike race

Having accepted my lot as a Masters rider (maybe, let's see how long I can take it) I realize I am going to need to make some deals if I am going to win. I need the races to be hard and fast. Unfortunately, I can't do that by myself. So I am going to need some help. Who out their has the balls (that's right, I am talking about real cojones!) to sack up and join me in my crusade to make every Masters rider at PR suffer like never before?

Hell, you can even have the win!

IJM, Excel and Starbucks are out. They have some fast finishers with excellent short games. So they aren't going to help out (although I contend Starbucks will be better served over the course of the season to ride a little more as a team... otherwise it'll just be one guy winning on his own with a couple other guys in the same jersey).