Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Andrew Martin: When Does The Race Start

Hey Guys. I am really really sorry for the lack of blogging. Unfortunately none of you have done the stupid crap I rely on to come up with content. So you have on one but yourself to blame. Fortunately, Andrew Martin has stepped into the breach with a thoughtfully worded letter for the masters field after his stunning win Saturday at the Ballard Crit.




When Does The Race Start
by Fake Andrew Martin

Andrew Martin here. Many of you guys know me from racing for locally on Bikesale. You know, I've had a pretty good run. And it's pretty common knowledge that I am pretty talented and train pretty good. But, I still try to downplay my ability and fitness because a lot of fast guys race 1/2. Unlike PruDog I don't need Russell marking me out. In other words I try to keep my form on the down low. Keep the trash talk and proclamations mellow. You know?

But, after my dominate ass kicking of you guys this weekend I gotta say: you guys suck. I mean, holy crap Pruitt. You call that lame ass move you made with 5 to go a jump? You barely managed to get past the Garage and Matt Hill was checking his facebook the whole time. God, reading this blog I thought it would be a challenge. Hey guys, pro tip -- when I attacked your asses I was only pedaling with my left leg just to see if you could keep up. That victory salute? That was me stretching and yawning cause that's just how bored I was.

I heard someone say I am supposed to call this "drinking your milkshake". Yah... no. Milkshakes are delicious. This was more like coming into your house, grabbing a beer and finding out that not-only is it non-alcoholic light beer, but it's warm and flat too.

Oh, and for anyone that thought you'd almost caught me there? Yah.. I actually hit the sanican with one to go. Cause I am just that good. So no more pretending to be undertrained and slow for me. Frankly, I am going to win every Masters race I do this year. I'd say try to stop me but... well I don't want you to all be sad when I crush you.

Thanks for the time.

Try to go harder next time so I at least get a work out.

~Andrew

3 Comments:

At Tuesday, June 07, 2011 4:56:00 PM, Blogger Martin Criminale said...

Andrew - way to bring the heat! And doing it when you are officially 'taking a year off from racing'? Just makes it that much sweeter.

 
At Wednesday, June 08, 2011 7:55:00 AM, Blogger Andrew F Martin said...

I even remembered to zip up after stopping off at the sanican.

 
At Wednesday, June 08, 2011 10:42:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sand
Bagger

 

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