Tour Live Bloggin'

6:18 PST Good Morning sunshines! I almost missed the start this morning cause I was busy checking out that fat farm Andrew thinks I should go to. Screw you Andrew!

6:19 PST My team manager was whining this morning about us not having radios. He wanted my cell number but hell no. I got blogging to do. Hey Jacques! You want to send orders via technology post in comments like everyone else.

6:21 PST If we are going old skool can we get some pastries and wine on rout as well? Just asking.....

6:28 PST David Millar keeps rolling up to everyone telling them how ridiculously light his shes are. So today I decided to ride without shoes; I just got some gorilla glue and bonded my socks to my pedals. Not as comfortable as I thought....

6:32 PST In honor of Bastille Day I packed nothing but cheese in my jersey. Unfortunately I just realized I am vegan. This could be tough... maybe one of the French riders will trade me for a Clif Bar....

6:26 PST Ha. Everyone is supposed to have a team mate up front but they forgot we were even here! Our plan to ride the Tour without anyone noticing is nearly complete.

6:52 PST With all this talk about Lance v. Al I think people forget about the German Powerhouse Klodie. Pro tip, that guy is going to win big this year!

6:58 PST Little known fact! Cav is really into cross dressing and spent the rest day at a cabaret party. I'm tipping Farrar to win. Dude doesn't waste any energy. Hell, he even has a personal assistant to take his cell phone out of his pocket...

7:09 PST Most people don't know that Thor Hushvold actually has a life sized mjolnir replica in his jersey pocket.

7:19 PST You know, it's just not the same without the DS yelling "more speed" every 2 seconds.

7:25 PST KAA looks like he broke his collarbone. Riding Le Tour is about pain. I am riding with a hang nail but am determined to tough it out.

7:30 PST FYI, when versus goes to break we keep riding.

7:42 PST Oh crap, I just realized that I have to take Rudy to Doggy Style for a haircut... if we keep strolling at this tourist pace I won't make it in time... better go tell Lance that Alberto just attacked and is up the road....

7:52 PST I just asked the guys if we could just call the race and give it to Farrar but Cav told me to go suck on a patato.... god I can't quit the tour to get my Dog to a haircut can I? That won't look good when it's time for a new contract....

7:54 PST Cav just told me if I wanted to do errands like a Masters rider I should go race with the Masters riders. I actually hadn't thought about that.. why am I at the Tour????? I could be racing with 40+ guys at Silvana in a few weeks....

8:04 PST It looks like that's it for me fans. I am sorry I let you down. But the pro dream is over. And Rudy looks like a DFH. It was a tough call and I was really thinking I could loose the 40lbs I need to be competitive in the Pyrenes but that's how life rolls. So I am going to pull over and jack a car so I can get home ASAP!