Friday, April 29, 2011

Open Letter to the PR 1/2/3 Field

On my ride into work I made up received an open letter to the riders at the Pacific Raceways Tuesday Night World Championships. Here, in it's unedited entirety, is the letter.

It's on like Donkey Kong by Fake Robert Velez

When I joined Keller Rohrback it was because I wanted to finally ride for a team. I wanted a place where I could maximize my potential and selflessly help my team-mates win. I didn't ask for much in return other than the feeling of riding on a team.

Well, apparently no one else got the memo about that because I keep reading all these awesome stories about how Old Town Sucks Keller Rohrback is Epic Win yet whenever I check the start list at Pacific Raceways 1/2/3 there is only one KR rider there: Robert Velez.

I'm not a talker like PruDog (and please, please OMG Ian don't get him started on that stupid Mission Statement) but I've had enough.

I AM GOING TO SMACK PACIFIC RACEWAYS UP.

Yah, that's right. Screw all of you. Screw my team. Screw PruDog. Screw Russell. Screw BikeSale. It's on like m&^%$#@%^*g Donkey Kong. I am bringing it every night. You want to lap us PruJackAss? Well we're I'm going to lap you. Twice.

So Suck. On. That.

Hey, at least I didn't say my team was dumb.

XXOO Fake Robert Velez

4 Comments:

At Friday, April 29, 2011 11:07:00 AM, Anonymous IAN! said...

IAN!: Are you employed, sir?
PruSlouch: Employed?
IAN!: You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?
PruSlouch: Is this a... what day is this?
IAN!: Well, I do work sir, so if you don't mind...
PruSlouch: I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.

 
At Friday, April 29, 2011 12:02:00 PM, Blogger Martin Criminale said...

PruChat has obviously found new wind in his blogging sails.

 
At Friday, April 29, 2011 12:05:00 PM, Blogger P-Dog said...

Things were getting to serious so I had to bring some new &^%$ to light.

 
At Friday, April 29, 2011 12:42:00 PM, Anonymous robV said...

Seems Seabrook treated PruSlouch well with a renewed humor and smack!

And no more gifts for lapping either.

 

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