Rudy for UPMK Champion '07 Press Release
Friends of Rudy Von Chestnut release the following statement today regarding his win in the Canine Division of Ultimate Pet Mortal Kombat and his bid for Grand Champion All Species Division Victory.
Vote for your ruler
When I first became the Canine Champion of Ultimate Pet Mortal Kombat and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn't know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. After I become Grand Champion in 2007 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.
-- Canine Division Champion Rudy Von Chestnut
Your Future Grand Champion and Eternal Ruler