PruDogBlog

Kermesse Q&A: Nick Koops rules your race

2012-01-27T06:47:00.000-08:00

Nick Koops was perhaps the most sylish winner of the Ronde Ohop ever. Now he shares his secrets with you!

PruDog: Did the moustache help or hurt your performance and will you be rolling it again in this years Kermesses?

Nick: The moustache always helps. It traps water whether its from the riders rooster tail in front of me or condensation building up from heavy breathing. It basically helps me hydrate without having to reach for my water bottle. And it's always a good feeling knowing I look like Kevin Costner circa 1985 while riding.

PruDog: I find that riders who've never done a Kermesse want a frame of reference to prepare for the race. I find it very difficult to describe. How would you describe a kermesse to a new rider looking to try it for the first time? :

It's the hardest race you'll ever do. The dirt sections absolutely thrash your body. With rocks(mini-boulders) ed note - note: we have these boulders imported from Spain so they are the highest quality boulders, tire ruts, loose gravel and sand there's never a good line to take. You just have to go all out. I think guys with some mountain biking or cyclocross experience are at a huge advantage. If you want to train specifically for a kermesse race go ride your road bike on some gravel trails.

PruDog: What equipment do you plan to use for the Kermesses this year? Any special items of of note and why?

I'm riding my cross bike again with my inexpensive wheels. When you hit the dirt section the thought of crashing or flatting is constantly going through your head. I think it's a little bit easier to say 'fuck it' and just hammer when you're not worried about laying down your carbon frame/wheels/derailleur/water bottle cage.

Kermesses: A Mission Statement

2012-01-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

I am very excited about the level of interest being shown in the Andy Salmon and Mashel Nisqually Kermesses. I am glad that people are interested in a style of racing that, while inspired by Belgian Kermesses, is really unique to the Northwest.

I encourage everyone to try it. The vast majority love it, but it's not for everyone. And I understand that. As I get more and more emails from riders about the races I am also beginning to get emails lobbying for changes to the races to make the more "accessable". I scare-quoted because most of the riders making these requests haven't done a Kermesse before so are basing their requests on their cyclocross or road racing experience. And, additionally, there tends to be an underlying impression that turnout is low and / or changes to the race set-up would improve it.

I get where many of these riders are coming from. There is a much larger segment of riders who are career Cat 4/5's and treat racing as competitive group rides. This is very very different than the traditional culture of bike racing and definitely causes some friction as well as opportunity for promoters. That said, many of the fears these riders express aren't the reality of Kermesse racing. Kermesse has elements of both road and cross, but it is unique. In road you have to ride as fast as the field or it's usually a long, miserable and lonely ride home. Kermesses are more like cross: the race breaks up but because the courses are short and the terrain is bumpy riders tend to ride closer to their confort level as a whole so it spreads out and you aren't alone. But unlike cross, were technical sections tend to cause riders to be solo Kermesse races tend towards small groups. It's true those groups change as the race goes on but it isn't a solo ride like either cross or road. In a wierd way it's the best of both -- the ride your tempo safety of cross with the group dynamic of road.

Secondly, it is true that the 1/2 field has been a challenge (I believe we had the 2nd biggest non-crit 35+ Masters field last year), but the constraint on field size is the course: our max field limit is 50 riders and we can't run waves.

Now we are always open to ways to improve the race, but my advise to those who are thinking about racing but want changes to be made first is to try it once. Then decide: you're likely to find that the experience is not what you expected (good or bad) and that the changes you'd like to see are very different than the ones you thought you wanted.

Three Kermesse Questions: Martin Turek Edition

2012-01-20T08:09:00.000-08:00

The latest entry in our Three Questions series for those who want to try a Kermesse or two. Enter Matin Turek, Cat 4/5 Podium finisher at the 2011 Ronde.

PruDog: What made you decide to try out the Ronde Ohop last year? And what were you expecting?

Martin: I’ve raced most of the races last season but at the end I decided to skip the ones that seemed to be following the typical arrangement of packed peloton and bunch sprint. Ronde Ohop was to be a completely different race (with its unpaved loops) and reminded me of the challenging Paris-Roubaix and other European one day classics which seemed to challenge racers in many different ways than the standard road races. Difficulty of the terrain, bike setup, possibility of being affected by the crashes and crashing myself, accelerated exhaustion, new effects of the climate, …. – all those made me want to try it and test myself against them.

PruDog: What was the biggest misperception you had about the race before doing it and what was the most pleasant surprise?

Martin: I think my expectations of the race were fully met but I did not expect the race to be so intense and so intense virtually non-stop from the moment we entered the unpaved section till the finish line. As a result of this the exhaustion started to build up soon and fast and I never thought I could sustain such level of fatigue but still maintain the willingness to fight. Passing the finish line on the very last of my physical abilities, with some gravel rush and blood dripping off of my left arm, I had the biggest smile in the world - I never thought I enjoyed getting hurt so much.

PruDog: Now that you've done a kermesse (and done well!) is there any special equipment you plan to use and why?

Martin: My setup was perfect. I did some reading about the gear used at Paris-Roubaix and used this info to prep for the Ohop. I won’t spare the details as it’s as interesting to do that research as it is satisfying to complete the race without a single mechanical.

Greatest Internets of All Time

2012-01-18T19:40:00.001-08:00

Because the internet is awesome:

1. It's about intimidation. It's MIND GAMES.

2. Star Trek Cribs. I love the left over roast beef.

3. For Jamie. I love you man.

4. For everyone who has ever had to read a bunch of 12 year old who invaded an otherwise nice little board. Or the WSBA Listserv.

5. I hate Hobbits

6. You can take the boy out of the Geek, but you can never take the Geek out of the boy.

7. PruDog. How do you act so well? Sir Ian explains it to you.

8. Rule #1: PruDog is always right. Rule#2 if you think PruDog is wrong you're made of stupid.

9. Because your bases do, in fact, belong to me.

10. All I Do Is Win because, well, he wins! I just am not sure what exactly he won. Seems a lot like my grade school athletic day were we all got medals. But I won!!!

11. Who knew Michael Bolton was a moviephile?

All I do is win.

2012-01-18T19:21:00.001-08:00

Much like DJ Kaleeb I am in 35+ 1/2/3 to win the overall this year. Now Erik Anderson has called me out, suggesting that even if I do score the 2 point I expect to I will lose the lead as soon as the fast guys (I am looking at you Sean Phillips) show up.

Yah, see here's the thing. I did the math and as far as I can tell there are 5 races that have Masters 35+ 1/2/3 Categories this year: Andy Salmon, Mashel-Nisqually, Mason 1, Mason 2 and the Ronde. Unless Sean does the Andy Salmon and Mashel-Nisqually I am looking really good here. There just aren't enough races to afford missing any.

He also suggests quality of field will hurt me. Er... I don't know the algorithm USAC uses but I do know my Kermesse races all had over 20 35+ Masters 1/2/3 while Mason had like 3 in the first and none in the second. So, well, game set match.

2012 Washington Cup - On Like A Remodel

2012-01-18T15:06:00.000-08:00

Which means behind schedule and still in flux. Here's the current races, which may change based on how well races follow the new WSBA/USAC guidelines:

Andy Salmon Kermesse
Mashel-Nisqually Kermesse
Keller Rohrback Eatonville Road Race
Ronde Van Palouse
IWRR
Vance Creek RR
Ravensdale
Boston Harbor
Ronde Ohop

Whether or not we do non-topline Categories is being debated (overhead!) but f we do we will break it into two halves so riders aren't penalized for upgrading.

Kermesse Q&A: John Alving (Apex Racing)

2012-01-17T12:31:00.000-08:00

For your reading pleasure here is a brief Q&A with John Alving of Apex Racing. This multi-sport everyman did the Ronde Ohop for the first time last year and had a blast. He also flatted and learned that it's not the end of the world at a Kermesse.

PruDog: Was the Ronde your first Kermesse? What were you expecting coming in and what was the single biggest surprise?

John: As much as I wanted to do the previous years (two years ago) race, I had a conflict. (mountain bike race I think) . So last year was my first race. I was actually expecting a rougher course than we saw from what I heard two years ago . I race as a Master Cat2 in Cyclocross so rough roads are not a problem for me. I was surprised how the peloton completely came apart in the race. It makes total sense but I was not expecting it.

PruDog: You noted that you flatted, yet still did pretty well. How'd you pull that off? Any special equipment choice? What will you use for the Kermesses this year?

John: I did flat, none of the guys that finished ahead of my flatted. My team hit the dirt with four guys in the top five. I was third wheel. Riding at race speeds a foot off a guy’s wheel on that road did not allow you see what was coming (rocks, holes). I had intended to race on 28mm or worst cast 25mm tires but neither would fit on my frame so I ran with my standard 23mm tires. About 100 yards from the end of the first dirt circuit I noticed my front wheel was flat. I rode it to the neutral wheel support and was changed out pretty quickly but the leaders had a 1 minute gap I was never able to close. A team mate flatted at the same time. I never saw him until the last lap where we worked together to leave the small group we had. We finished 6th and 7th. What a total blast. I can’t wait until next years race where I will be racing my cross bike with 28mm tires and 53/39 chainring. This is what I have set up for the Kermesses. My only concern is the bike is a far cry from my fancy BMC bike so I will have to see how I like it on the road. I pick it up from the shop this week (snow notwithstanding).

PruDog: One thing riders worry about is getting dropped because they are used to road races or crits were once you get popped it's a long lonely ride home. At some point everyone in a Kermesse ends up alone or in a very small group but it's not at all like "getting dropped" -- I like to say that every one who finishes earns it and as a result the overall satisfaction per rider is very high. How would you describe the racign dynamic to a rider who is interested in racing a Kermesse but is afraid of being "dropped"?

John: You still have to be careful because about getting dropped on the road section. You are right about the getting dropped comment though, it is similar to Cross racing where everyone finishes and can race their own race. The groups are very small and is really only an advantage on the pavement section. I would be surprised though if the Kermesse races break up a much as the Ronde Ohop [which has 12 miles of paved road before entering the Kermesse circuit] but not having raced [just the kermesse cicuit] I will have to see. There are a ton of Cyclocross riders [that this would be] a winter diversion [for]. This seems like a perfect “gateway” race to road racing. The only thing that will keep me from attending is a ton of new snow in the mountains (skiing) editor - again with the priorities John. Seriously..

No Hills? WTF

2012-01-16T19:18:00.000-08:00

Oh, also too, I was asked why we don't have hilly races. Cause, we are in the NW and there are hills. So what up?

It's because NW Cyclists are soft and have not been properly beaten by Eddie Meryckx. As a result they do not show up for hilly races. When we promote them we need to claim there are "punchy climbs" and hope no one pre-rides the course. That's right Tubbs, I am looking at you. You too Boots.

WA Cup 411

2012-01-16T19:15:00.000-08:00

I know I know. What's up with the WA Cup Prudog? You tease us but then there is now news.

Well, I ain't got news because I am old and lame. All I know right now is that 4 of the 10 races are:

Andy Salmon
Mashel Nisqually
KRRR AKA Jamie Stangeland Hates You
Ronde Ohop

I am hoping to include:

Ravendsdale/Market Street
IVRR
Ronde Van Palouse

+ three of Anderson's races because I love him.

Really, I am totally infatuated with Anderson. Or maybe that was Cindy Crawford. Again really old and senility is making things hard right now.

Fuck this shit

2012-01-16T19:13:00.000-08:00

I was going to post about the Washington Cup or Andy Salmon Kermesse. But why bother? I am old and threw out my back. So I ain't gonna win my own damn race. What's the point? Seriously.

Get off my damn lawn, being old is lame. And I am not even old. Now Jim Flynn, he's old.

Clarification: KRRR has no dirt

2012-01-08T08:11:00.000-08:00

Since there is likely to be confusion about the various race courses... The Keller Rohrback Road Race has no dirt sections. It's all paved. In fact, significant sections through town are newly paved. And we removed the two punchy climbs everyone whined about (I'm looking at you Tubbs!); instead of heading down Hwy 7 into Ohop Valley the race turns right back into town. The loop is 6 miles instead of 5 and doesn't head up Hwy 161.

Ouch!

2012-01-08T08:10:00.000-08:00

The good news is I've been getting in some good riding this month. The bad news is I smacked my back up good. For the third time in 12 months. Perhaps it's time to admit I need to do Yoga. No!!!!!!!

2013 Masters Nats

2012-01-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

No snarky comment, but does anyone know why Nats are in Bend in 2013 and not rotating?

Getting Antsy

2012-01-03T19:58:00.000-08:00

So there are 4 Roubaix/Kermesse races (not even counting the Grand Fondo Ephrata) in the first half of the year. Excellent. I can't wait to get it on. Will Sean Phillips be there or will his crossing ways have him over trained and tired? Only time will tell.

Kermesse cause I care

2011-12-31T20:51:00.000-08:00

The thing is,Kermesse racing is fun. And, if no one shows up, I can pad my win total and be the #1 ranked USACycling rider in WA again. Yah, look that up. It was excellent. Don't hate the player hate the game.

Anyway, I am busy at work getting the Kermesse races for February dialed. Permits are a challenge because of the short turn-around between the calendar meeting and the race mixed with holidays and trying to train some of my family so that, long term, you guys aren't dependent of Pru-HasAJob.

Also, too, Ian Tubbs sucks. I still like Lang a little but be careful Reynolds. I am a fickle PruDog and may easily hate you too. Of course, that would mean I'd love Tubbs again because I can only hate one person at a time.

Shut up, that's why!

2011-12-13T09:13:00.000-08:00

Yes it's true! I am promoting two Kermesses in February (not to be confused with the 2012 Keller Rohorback Road Race also in February but without any dirt). More details to come -- just waiting to wind through the new, improved USACycling permit system. These races are the first to snap to the new system that assigns WSBA/USACycling points all recognized categories regardless of whether that Category is it's own field -- not that different from how we did the WA Cup series in 2011.

Also, too, dirt! The these will have more dirt and I am recommending big big tires! Maybe a cyclocross bike -- but like the other Kermesses these aren't technical courses.

Finally, why February?? Well because turnout drops in summer. It just does. And I have you know, a job and summer is my busy time. So, if you want more summer races -- promote them.

Actually, don't. One thing that worked well last year was having one race a weekend. It made that race viable instead of splitting the market.

All I Do is Win

2011-12-12T09:13:00.001-08:00

Memo to David Fleischhauer: just cause you can crash someone out going up Norway doesn't mean you should.

Mashel Nisqually Kermesse

2011-12-11T17:08:00.001-08:00

Updated 18JAN12: USACycling has the Mashel Nisqually race info & registration page live now. Find it here. One note, as of today the link on the flier goes to the Andy Salmon course. This is incorrect; the two races both use Detente (Easy), Suffering (Moderate) and Mur de Mashel (Difficult) but Mashel includes an additional section of paved roads for a total of 1.7 mile paved. You can see the course here. We've submitted the correction to USACycling so hopefully this will be updated soon.

Andy Salmon Kermesse Blog

2011-12-10T14:48:00.001-08:00

Update January 17th 2012 registration is online. Finally. So a couple questions have popped up. One is the usual "what bike should I ride".. as a commenter said the key isn't the bike it's the tires. I'd use whichever bike lets you run a 25-28c tire. This isn't technical so solid road tires are recommended.

As for the combined start for the first race -- it's really hard to predict demand for a February race and the big expenses (Officials, timing and wheel support) need to be planned ahead of time. Without data we planned for minimum turnout. If the field fills up we will stagger start times.

Also, for upgrade points you need to finish races not just start them.

Updated January 1st 2012

Ok here is the info on the Andy Salmon Production's Andy Salmon Kermesse p/b Andy Salmon:

Where: Mashel-Nisqually State Park near Eatonville, WA

Categories: There will be two categories: A Mens race and a Womens race. Both races will start together and complete approx 25 miles. Prizes will be 20% of entry and go 6 deep for both the Mens and Womens' race. Start time, entry fee, Distance, prize depth, prize list and field size requirements are based on the Category each rider falls under.

WSBA & USACycling points: In order to recieve WSBA and USACycling points riders must register for one of the sub-categories available in their race. This will be done at registration. WSBA & USACycling points will be based on each rider’s finish within this sub-category relative to other riders in their sub-category.

Registration & Surcharges: Online at USACycling.org (has not opened yet; we will pot an update once it does) or day of at the Mashel Loop. Registration closes 20 minutes before the start of each event. The entry fee includes $3 per rider per day for USA Cycling insurance. A current year USA Cycling Rider Waiver and Release form must be signed by the participant and, if under 18, by the parent or legal guardian.

License: To enter any race for Men Cat 4 and above or Women Cat 3 and above a USAC annual license must be presented. Purchase online at USACycling.org (not for sale at the race). All beginners (Cat 5 Men, Cat 4 Women) may race on one-day license. No exceptions. OBRA riders of any category other than Beginner must present a valid USAC license. Foreign riders must purchase one-day license or present proof of out-of-country insurance. One-day licenses are $10, available at the race.

Numbers & Placement: WSBA numbers will be used. The officials request that both bib numbers be clearly visible placed parallel with your jersey’s side seam on the back and above the pockets. Frame number should be attached per WSBA instructions. Examples of proper placement: http://gcracingllc.com/numberplacement.aspx. Rental numbers are available for a $10 fee ($5 refundable). For out-of-state riders a $5 number refundable deposit will be assessed.

Course description: Race starts at Mashel Loop field. Races will cover 7-10 clockwise laps of the Mashel-Nisqually loop (the Mashel-Nisqually Loop is 1 mile road, 2 mile dirt). Course map & profiles can be found at http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/49690668.

Wheel Support: Neutral wheel support will be provided. In addition to two neutral wheel pits, there will be two additional wheels in/wheels out pits on the course for a total of three wheel pits on the Mashel Loop. The organizer is not responsible for wheels or equipment left at the race.

Results: Results will be posted at registration. Results become final 15 minutes after posting. Questions concerning results should be directed to the Chief Judge at the Finish line.

Directions to Start: Parking will be at the Nisqually- Mashel State Park on the right under the power lines. From North or South on I-5 Take exit 127. Drive east on Hwy 512 for two miles, then take the Pacific Ave./Mt. Rainier exit south. Follow Pacific Ave. about five miles to where the road splits in a "Y." Follow signs for Mt. Rainier (the left branch of the fork) taking Hwy 7 south. Drive about 17 miles, passing Ohop Valley Rd. At the top of the long sweeping hill turn right onto the Mashel Prairie Road on the right side. Go about ¾ of a mile and park on the right side under the power lines

Online Flier: Here

You Need Me on this Digital Wall

2011-12-09T08:51:00.000-08:00

Ok ok ok. I get it. Without the crisp word salad of the PruDog combined with his insightful jabs at Old Town Bicycles cycling in the Northwest just isn't fun. Frankly I don't care except you selfish jackals won't stop filling up my inbox with your (poorly written) demands that I return to regular blogging.

Well damnit if that's the way it has to be then I am back.

You'll be sorry!

The Kids are Teh Sucks

2011-10-10T09:43:00.000-07:00

The Kids are Teh Sucks by Fake Mrs. PruDog

Dear Keller Rohrback #Kids,

When ~~Michael~~ Prudog told me we were going to the team post game party at Jamie's new house I assumed it would be a raging out of control party. I'm from California and remember fondly the keggers we used to have that ran until 7am the next morning. We'd get trashed and then be at class by 7:15.

It sounded like fun. I mean, we have kids and a raging night for us is one cocktail and to bed by 8:30p.

What a dissapointment. You guys are Teh Sucks. I mean, I was just having my 7th beer around 9 when I looked around and the only ones there were the old guys. I mean, I get to see these guys enough already. I like Mike H. but I was hoping for a drunken naked Galen dancing on the table while the wives stuffed $10 bills in his undies (don't worry, we have jobs). Instead, we got to see Jamie pass out and the old guy across the street dare us to walk on his lawn.

Seriously, I expect more out of all of you.

Retrospectaculars

2011-10-10T09:40:00.001-07:00

I know the blogging here sucks. Go read my good blog instead about retrospectaculars.

Also if you are interested in becoming a Project Manager or learning more about cutting edge ideas in Project Management check out the event VMC is doing.

Fake Blogging: WTF?

2011-09-26T21:34:00.001-07:00

My work is in your fridge

2011-09-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

E-tronic is mad that this blog has been even lamer than normal. I know! Un-possible. Further, he's irritable because the lack of product is directly related to being paid to write a blog that isn't funny at all.. (Honestly, it is before marketing edits out the good stuff!) and we all no it's unAmerican to actual get money to blog. It's meant to be free damnit!

Well, what to say? We kicked ass in the crits, as planned. We over performed by winning more road races than any masters team. And Slow-Donnel believes I may be the greated kept time trial prospect since Andy Schleck.

What the hell are we going to do for an encore? It can only go down hill. So our plan is to all gain 20 lbs and still win.

Sick on that!

ronde ohop: results and notes

2011-08-25T06:09:00.000-07:00

A couple notes:

1. I am in the midwest on business so that's delayed getting results up on this site. The officials worked extra hard to get the place of everyone who raced -- that caused a delay since they didn't have everyone's name. Once I get home I'll update the results with names andsend to wsba and post here and at the Ronde Ohop website.

2. Thank to bikehugger for the writ-up and pics. I would like to point out that just because Hugger wants me to promote the Ronde as a cross race doesn't mean my messeging is confusing.

3. Thanks for the stories you've sent! I've gotten some pretty cool ones and it's great to see how many have embraced the beauty of NW Kermesse racing. Send more!

Point - CounterPoint

2011-08-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

Ronde Ohop sucked by Racer PruDog

Yah KR won and got 5,6 and 9 place. But I flatted three times and only got 16th (if I had been able to ride hard the last two laps maybe 14th but just didn't have it left). This ride sucks and I am never doing it again.

Ronde Ohop rocks by Promoter PruDog

101 riders on the day! Woot Woot! The best turnout for an epic (classic?) race. You guys rock and this race has made it. Beer Garden next year!

No more Mr. Nice Blog

2011-08-17T16:08:00.001-07:00

My promoter hat comes off at 10pm tomorrow and my race face goes on.

Gravity Sucks

2011-08-17T09:19:00.001-07:00

Last night was a great night for the team with Mike Hainsworth p/b Leg Breaking Power rode hard and got 2nd. Erik Scheller has discovered that riding himself into the ground for Hainsworth is fun! Sorry Randy, you can't have all the glory.

Ion the otherhand am reminded that after a torrid affair back in the 90's, Gravity is still mad at me and won't pass up any chance to remind me. How many times do I need to apologize????? I am sorry for choosing the time trial over climbing as my focus back in the day. It was a mistake alright. Forgive me yet?

Also too, gonna smack myself up at Ronde Ohop. Just so that Ross doesn't get a chance to.

Ronde Ohop - Things to do in Eatonville when you're (not) dead

2011-08-16T12:20:00.000-07:00

In Lee's QA she noted how beautiful the Ohop-Mashel area is and after the Petite Fondo Martha commented how cool it was that many of the riders hung out and did local stuff afterwards. And it's true! There is a lot of stuff to do there and it is really really nice. So, here's a quick list of some stuff I recommend:

Food:
So you just raced and now you want to eat? In Eatonville there are a couple good options:

Jelbino's, an Italian restaurant, and Bruno's, more of a family pub style joint. Both provided generous support to the Keller Rohrback Road Race and to Ronde Ohop. I don't recommend Subway -- they are not supportive of our racing and despite dropping quite a bit of money their last year pretty much told us to screw off this year.

Activities:
Pioneer Farm is 2 miles from the race and is family fun. Northwest Trek is about 10 minutes away. And Paradise is about 40 by car.

Bike Shops:
Eatonville Outdoor has been a huge advocate of the races and promoting us in the community. Even if it's just a tire, go buy something from Len and show our support.

Ronde Ohop QA - Lee Smith (Womens Edition)

2011-08-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

While the Ronde Ohop has been a predominately male affair a few brave women have lined up as well. Lee Smith deserves some kind of frequent flyer miles and definitely knows the Ronde Ohop.

PruDog: What was the biggest difference between the first and second time you raced the Ronde Ohop?

Lee: The first year I did the Ronde Ohop I was a cat4 racing in the women’s 1-2-3 field, and we only had the loop that consists of ½ dirt + ½ pavement. We raced mixed in with one of the men’s fields, because the women’s field was so small. The second year (last year), we had a nice loop of highway before hitting the dirt+pavement loop, and that was fun, plus we got a great warm-up in. That year the women also raced with the men, because there were only 2 of us. The winner got a fabulous trophy made of pavé (cobblestone). I’ve heard that this year we will do the paved highway section twice (reverse direction from last year, and *no*, it is not the same as the KRRR course – it’s not hard!), and a couple of fewer laps on the dirt section . This is a really fun race, so hopefully the women will turn out in force so that we get to race separately.

P: Everyone asks me (as the promoter) to describe the dirt sections and the Mur de Mashel. How would you describe the dirt sections and the Mur?

L: The dirt sections and the Mur are totally non-technical. You don’t need to be a mountain biker or a cyclocross racer to ride these sections on your road bike (although you will want to run wider tires than normal, and at lower pressure than normal). The “mur” (wall) is very short, and not very steep – it’s easily ride-able by everyone. Then it’s on to flat, fast, wide dirt+gravel that is just plain fun (if a little bumpy at times – one more good reason to run wider tires).

P: The Ronde seems especially intimidating to women yet you’ve done it twice. What brings you back and why do you think women racers should do it?

L: The Ronde Ohop is in a very pretty, quiet area. It starts with two loops of nice, barely trafficked highway, where the race is like a real road race. Then the fun begins, with multiple loops of the dirt+park pavement section, where everything spreads out and it becomes more like an off-road race. Everything is low-key, and everyone has fun. There is nothing at all sketchy about the dirt sections, and I have never heard of anyone crashing in this race. At worst, there are some flat tires, but I’ve heard that this year there is neutral support . I would encourage any women who are looking to have fun, and to try something different, to turn out for the Ronde Ohop!

P: If you could give someone who has never ridden it before one piece of advice before their first ride what would it be?

L: My advice would be to follow the promoter’s guidance about wider tires, and to lower your tire pressure. Last year I lowered my tire pressure below what I would normally ride on the road, but then found after the race that a bunch of the men used even lower tire pressure (in the 80-90 psi range). I’m going to give that a try this year, if for no other reason than comfort in the bumpy sections.

About the Ronde Ohop
The 2011 Herriott Sports Performance Ronde Ohop power by ByrneInvent is August 21, 2011 and is the final round of the 2011 Washington Cup.

The Ronde Ohop is a Belgian style Kermesse race that covers a 6 mile paved circuit 2-4 times (depending on the category) before finishing with 10 laps of the Mashel-Nisqually Loop. The loop features 1 mile for paved road and 1.25 miles hard pack dirt.

Road or Cyclocross bikes can be used but 25-28c road or file tread tires are recommended (neutral wheel support is provided by FSA).

For more info visit the Ronde Ohop Website at http://www.dirtymoose.com/2010ohop/index.htm

I'm going to smack KR up by Fake Dave Hills

2011-08-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

I'm Gonna Smack Keller Rohrback up
by Fake Dave Hills

I've got a confession to make. I know everyone thinks I'm a climber. Well, that's what I want you to think. I'm no one trick pony. In fact, I've been waiting all year for the Ronde Ohop so I could finally show PruDog and his "Killer Rohrbots" how a Kermesse is really done. I've got my bike read and guess what? It's the same as my regular bike 19c tires and all. You know why? Cause I am just that good. I mean, I define the term float. How the hell am I going to get a flat when I only weigh 80lbs? Seriously, think it through.

And what was Olson thinking with the whole Killer Rohrbots thing? Don't quit your day job.

In conclusion, it's on like Donkey Kong. Hills is coming for you and he's going to Smack. You. Up.

Ronde Ohop - QA with Randy Salamon

2011-08-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

Fresh off his incredible support of Mike Hainsworth at the Gig Harbor Circuit race Randy Salamon gives us the Ronde Ohop 411.

2006 or 2007 I think was the first time I rode the Ohop. It was the first year of the race. I remember it like this "Damn, for a short course this is hard and people are killing themselves, wait, we're not even on the dirt yet. Oh crap this is gonna hurt.......". It wasn't raining but it there was a deluge the night before. The dirt (read MUD) section was slicker than snot on a doorknob and the Mur was murder to get up because your wheels simply stuck into the mud . There was a little trail of water that ran down the length of it and everyone was trying to hold that line. I was talking with Wanda Howlett before the race and she told me to have wheels in the middle of the pave until the end. I didn't listen and flatted out on the last lap about 20 meters from the road section.

Roadies should do it to prove they are not the wussies 'crossers think they are. Road season is coming to an end and you need to go out with a bang. Figurative not literal.

Dirt good, embrace the 2-wheel drift.......

Ride soft. Let the bike float over the pave'. Sit back, hands on the tops arms loose, KEEP PEDALING!!!!, and keep your freaking head up! You have to pay attention because or your race will go sideways real quick. Other than that, I would say 25-28c tires with 80-90psi, eat your wheaties and be ready for some fun.

Ohop is one of those races that you do simply because it is fun.

About the Ronde Ohop
The 2011 Herriott Sports Performance Ronde Ohop power by ByrneInvent is August 21, 2011 and is the final round of the 2011 Washington Cup.

The Ronde Ohop is a Belgian style Kermesse race that covers a 6 mile paved circuit 2-4 times (depending on the category) before finishing with 10 laps of the Mashel-Nisqually Loop. The loop features 1 mile for paved road and 1.25 miles hard pack dirt.

Road or Cyclocross bikes can be used but 25-28c road or file tread tires are recommended (neutral wheel support is provided by FSA).

For more info visit the Ronde Ohop Website at http://www.dirtymoose.com/2010ohop/index.htm

Memo to Ross Gilbert

2011-08-15T17:55:00.000-07:00

Hey Ross, I am gonna exorcise my demons from last year's Ronde Ohop by smacking you up this year. Believe that! (Or, more likely, you are gonna make me cry again).

Ronde Ohop QA - Ross Gilbert

2011-08-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

Ross Gilbert holds the distinction as the only person I've seen who actually looks good going up the Mur. Predictably, he points to it as the key to the race. For the record he owned me there last year like a cat owns a mouse.

PruDog: What do you remember most about your first Ronde Ohop?

Ross Gilbert: The most friendly atmosphere I have found at and during a road race.

P: You are the only person that's ever looked good going up the Mur de Mashel. Any tips?

RG:No tips...I need all the advantages I can get. Well, okay: For me the Mur is what this race is all about. Keep your weight back for traction. Go up it at your own pace - you have the rest of the lap to recover!

P: Why would you recommend the Ronde to someone who asks you if they should do it?
RG:Is totally different to any race I have done. It has something for everyone and there is never a dull moment.

The Ronde Ohop
The 2011 Herriott Sports Performance Ronde Ohop power by ByrneInvent is August 21, 2011 and is the final round of the 2011 Washington Cup.

The race covers a 6 mile paved circuit 2-4 times (depending on the category) before finishing with 10 laps of the Mashel-Nisqually Loop. The loop features 1 mile for paved road and 1.25 miles hard pack dirt.

Road or Cyclocross bikes can be used but 25-28c road or file tread tires are recommended (neutral wheel support is provided by FSA).

For more info visit the Ronde Ohop Website at http://www.dirtymoose.com/2010ohop/index.htm

Ronde Ohop - QA with David Richter

2011-08-15T07:30:00.001-07:00

David Richter showed earned his stone (literally, you get a mounted stone when you win! See what I did there?) last year with a 30 mile solo move. Here's his perspective of the Ronde Ohop:

PruDog: You won the Ohop on your first ride last year. What do you remember most about it?

Richter: How epic it was. I couldn't believe what had just happened.

P: You went solo for most of the race with an attack on the Mashel-Eatonville-Mashel loop. Did you know how hard the dirt would be? Or was that part of your plan?

R:I attacked on the road section, knowing the dirt was going to be insane. Just like what happens at Paris Roubaix before the Arenberg Forest.

P: You’re known as a road guy. But people forget you raced pro mountain bike and have ridden cross. What is one reason a roadie should do the Ronde?

R: To really experience what epic is.

P: What is one reason a cross rider should do it?

R: because a bunch of roadies will be doing it & they'll [the cross riders - ed] smash the most decisive part.

P: If you could give someone who has never ridden it before one piece of advice before their first rider what would it be?

R: ride as aggressive as possible & drink before the dirt loops.

The Ronde Ohop
The 2011 Herriott Sports Performance Ronde Ohop power by ByrneInvent is August 21, 2011 and is the final round of the 2011 Washington Cup.

The race covers a 6 mile paved circuit 2-4 times (depending on the category) before finishing with 10 laps of the Mashel-Nisqually Loop. The loop features 1 mile for paved road and 1.25 miles hard pack dirt.

Road or Cyclocross bikes can be used but 25-28c road or file tread tires are recommended (neutral wheel support is provided by FSA).

For more info visit the Ronde Ohop Website at http://www.dirtymoose.com/2010ohop/index.htm

Ronde Ohop - Three Pro Tips

2011-08-14T15:45:00.001-07:00

Riding a Roubaix or Kermesse race is both exciting and intimidating to riders. These races are different, but it's also important not to overthink them. As Nick Legan recently said in his VeloNews column:

The beauty of dirt road riding is in the doing of it. Not in the researching of it. The adventure is sometimes in not necessarily having the perfect tool for the job. Enjoy

With that in mind, here are three basic tips that will make your Ronde Ohop manageable:

Equipment: Don't worry about whether you need a cross bike, road bike, double tape or any of that stuff. Just make sure your bike is in good working order, you are using file-tread or road tread tires and running 25c tires.

Technique: This isn't mud or ruts. We're not running up and down cut backs. The turns are easy and the road straight. The two things you want to do is let the bike float and not try to overstear and push a big gear to minimize the impact of vibration on your rythm.

Tactics: You'll be riding hard once you enter the Sector de Suffering until the race is over. You'll have to tackle the short (50 meters) but challenging Mur de Mashel 10 times. Don't over do it. Save your energy when possible, use road section to recover and try to stay with a group. It was epic when David Richter won the elite field with a 26 mile solo move last year but for the rest of us riding that's a but much.

In other words, just be cool and your race will work itself out.

About the 2011 HSP Ronde Ohop p/b ByrneInvent
The 2011 Herriott Sports Performance Ronde Ohop power by ByrneInvent is August 21, 2011 and is the final round of the 2011 Washington Cup.

The race covers a 6 mile paved circuit 2-4 times (depending on the category) before finishing with 10 laps of the Mashel-Nisqually Loop. The loop features 1 mile for paved road and 1.25 miles hard pack dirt.

Road or Cyclocross bikes can be used but 25-28c road or file tread tires are recommended (neutral wheel support is provided by FSA).

For more info visit the Ronde Ohop Website at http://www.dirtymoose.com/2010ohop/index.htm

Washington Cup Rd 3 Scoring

2011-08-14T14:01:00.000-07:00

The 3rd and final round of the 2011 Washington Cup is the Ronde Ohop Sunday August 21st, 2011.

Scoring at the Ronde Ohop will differ from the previous two rounds in two ways:
• Double points will be awarded based on placing in each official race.
• While there are only four official races, points will be available for each of the Washington Cup categories. This will be accomplished by each race will have designated categories that riders can assign their points to that align to the previous rounds.

The official races and assignment options are as follows:

Masters 30+: points available for Masters 30+ 1/2/3 and Masters 40+ 4/5
Womens: points available for Womens 1/2/3 and Womens 4
Cat 4/5 and Masters 50+: points available for Mens 4/5 and Masters 50+
Mens 1/2/3: points available for Mens 1/2 and Mens 3

For example: Jeff Reed is racing the Masters 30+ in support of Sean Phillips* . Andy Salmon is also racing the race. Mike H and Sean Phillips have attacked with Ross Gilbert leaving Andy Salmon and Jeff to fight out 4th and 5th place. Jeff’s disarming smile lulls Andy Salmon into a false sense of complacency and Jeff easily takes 4th with an electric sprint. Andy Salmon gets 5th. Jeff gets 60 points for 4th. These are applied to the Masters 40+ 4/5 Washington Cup. Salmon is a Cat 3 so he gets 52 points for the 30+ 1/2/3 Washington Cup.

Points for the Masters 4/5 and Masters 50+ field will be assigned based on registration.

*I am assuming Mirante rolled a tubular earlier in the race and is at the finish drinking beer

Funny is as funny does

2011-08-11T18:09:00.000-07:00

I am tired, so tired.

PruDog's Races: The Mission

2011-08-09T18:43:00.000-07:00

For the record (and the win!) the goal of my ~~races~~ events is to find ways to do things with bikes we don't normally get to do. Apparently I pull that off even without trying -- see KRRR the easy summer race which turned out to be the new NWClassic.

2011 Petite Fondo Paradise Results

2011-08-09T16:57:00.001-07:00

Because no event, Grand or Petite, is complete without results here are your times for the Petite Fondo Paradise. We will likely do this again next year with a field limit of 30 riders. It will be interesting to see if Kerry Farrell can win it again in his 53x18 or if he'll have to bring out the big boy 54.

Short videos taken from my iPhone are here: http://www.youtube.com/user/mapei123#g/u

Ronde Ohop - Decided on the dirt

2011-08-08T20:11:00.001-07:00

I keep getting asked this. For the 100th time neither the Col du Ohop and Cote de Soul Crusher are included in the Mashel-Eatonville-Mashel loop. These two climbs are featured in the Keller Rohrback Road Race on the Eatonville-Ohop Valley-Eatonville loop. We were going to use the same loop as KRRR until we realized (or you did!) how hard those two climbs were. The road sections in a Kermesse or Roubaix race should be tactic sections, not spring boards to victory. The dirt should decide the winner.

If you did the Ronde last year the road loop is the same but in reverse.

2012 Washington Cup - On Like Donkey Kong

2011-08-08T18:18:00.001-07:00

Despite winning three road races this year we've been tagged as a crit team. We are! But also that's fighting words so now it's on like Donkey Kong. I will not only manage a Washington Cup of 10 races next year KR for the Masters, Mens 1-2 and Womens 1-2. We are also going to sweep the Cup.

And yes, it will include Ronde Ohop, Spokane Roubaix and likely a season starting old school Ohop Kermesse. So live with our glory.

Ronde Ohop - Don't be scared of a little dirt

2011-08-08T15:35:00.000-07:00

The first Roubaix type race I ever did was the Spokane River Roubaix in the mid 90's. I had never ridden a road race with dirt sections before and was intimidated by it. But I was younger, hungrier and ready for anything. To make a long story short I made it over the dirt climb (and it was a real climb!) with the lead group before grovelling into a lowly 16th (although Iwas credited with 6th). I was exhausted (I later learned I had strep throat) by this different kind of race. I was also in loved.

Whenever you hear about a road race with dirt sections the hyperbole starts. It's epic! It's super hard! No one wants to ride it but everyone wants to win it!

To me the reason to do A Roubaix or Kermesse type race with dirt is that everyone earns their place. Let's be honest, in a regular road race most riders are just getting sucked along. Got 16th? Meh. Maybe you earned it maybe not. But 16th at the Ronde Ohop is deserved; you can't sit on the guy in front of you and just pip him on the line. There are tactics and tricks for improving your result (I can probably get 2 places because I know the course so well) but you still have to ride your bike hard and smart. Even if you aren't in for the win, that ability to really earn your place even if it's dead last is something that you can take with you and build on for other races.

The 2011 Herriott Sports Performance Ronde Ohop power by ByrneInvent is August 21, 2011 and is the final round of the 2011 Washington Cup.

The race covers a 6 mile paved circuit 2-4 times (depending on the category) before finishing with 10 laps of the Mashel-Nisqually Loop. The loop features 1 mile for paved road and 1.25 miles hard pack dirt.

Road or Cyclocross bikes can be used but 25-28c road or file tread tires are recommended (neutral wheel support is provided by FSA).

For more info visit the Ronde Ohop Website at http://www.dirtymoose.com/2010ohop/index.htm

What is this S^%t by Fake Sean Phillips

2011-08-08T12:41:00.001-07:00

What is this s&^t by Fake Sean Phillips

I have three words for PruDog after that lame ass excuse for a blog post about Boston Harbor.

What. The. Hell.

I am going to name you PruLame because that's what that was. Ozymandius? If I wanted the classics I'd borrow your Frisky Dingo series DVD set. I don't come to this blog for culture. I come hear to read about my exploits on a bike. Remember yoru bike? How can you forget given the amount of noise yours generates everytime you look at it. Just so you know, they have these great things now called "bike mechanics". They can fix that stuff for you. Rumor is you have a real job so it's not like you can't afford it.

If you want to do poetry how about this:

There once was a rider for SCCA/SBUX
Who covered an attack early in the day
Despite the Garage and uneven odds
He still pulled off 3rd that day

See, now that's mother&^$#$g poetry. Step your game up Pruitt. I am not askingnicely again.

Boston Harbor Post Game

2011-08-07T17:59:00.001-07:00

The Tale of Keller Rohrback

We met some riders from KR land
Who said: `Two vast and powerful legs of power
Stand in the race. Near them, on the course,
Half sunk, many a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its owner well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear --
"Our Name is Keller Rohrback, master or Masters:
Look on our works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level riders stretch far away

Update: F^%&(ing Ozymandias! Does no one read the classics anymore? Shorter version: KR Won.

I don't think sketchy means what you think it means

2011-08-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

As a side note and not meant as a call out to any individual perse. I mean, you all suck so just assume this is aimed at you personally and everyone on your team.

I've noticed a tendency of the 50+ crowd to complain about how sketchy the under 50 crowd is in Masters races. I think the comment usually takes the form of "the 50+ race is so much safer because guys ride better lines" or some such.

Yah, so that's not true. In general, the older the field the worse the bike handling skills are. The difference is that the older the rider, the more consistent they are in how they suck. For example, I see more insane drop kicks from the 50+ riders than .. well.. I don't see it in any other field. That said the riders that drop kick do it every time in exactly the same way so if you ride that field you get used to it. What happens when the 50+ set mixes with the youngsters isn't that we are sketchy it's the we don't get out of the way either because we don't know your gonna drop kick or because we are less forgiving.

Another example is dive bombing corners. I saw a lot of older dudes flying into corner 2 and 3 at Tacoma only to get put into the curb. Listen, that's a bad line and if you dive bomb a corner it's not the guy with the correct lines and strong position responsibility to get out of your way. I think in the 50+ though guys move. Again though, that's not cause we're sketchy. It's cause guys are less likely to move.

That said, crashing yourself out on the crease at Boat Street is something we younger guys are very very good at.

Just Can't Quit You

2011-08-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

Apparently Dave Hecht just can't quit the ground. After beating it senseless at Olympia Stage Race and then PR, he apparently decided to show the pavement who is boss again at Skagit Flats.

Dave, listen. We know you are one tough M&^$##$^&r but let it go. I don't know what the cement ever did to you but at these point you just seem petty with this vendetta of yours.

Damn Wookies

2011-07-29T17:19:00.001-07:00

Race Directing is easy when your crew rocks

2011-07-26T05:56:00.001-07:00

I am out from under my race promotion rock. That's right, the 2011 Keller Rohrback Road Race at Eatonville is in the books. Our crew (the team plus PruFam, Neal, Kirsten from Recycled and the FSA Team) rocked out and ruled. You haven't lived until you've heard my Uncle Steve doing his wall-to-wall TDF-style commentary over the race radio. Seriosuly, awesome.

I do want to address a controversy that has arisen. Does PruDog pre-ride his courses? Listen, I drive these courses in my car and I had no problem on the Ext Road-161 climb. I was able to it 60 coming into town and I even came to a full stop at the merge. So when I say punchy it's punchy. I can't be responsible for you guys only being able to maintain 350-450 watts. Seriously, do I need to make training plans for you too?

So yes, that climb didn't play out as punchy. It was FREAKIN HARD. Note taken.

Epic Collapse

2011-07-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

No words to describe the epic collapse of our Redmond Derby adventure. What's worse? That we had 7 of the 23 riders and our best result was 10th? That we had two riders in the 8 man break? That I started the damn move and proceeded to get a brain cramp and get gapped off ad dropped after my team mate came up? Kudos to Ryan & Jim for getting up there. I stiff "fail whale" to myself for not sticking in the move and being there to cover the late attacks.

Congrats to Tony Scott for being the anti-PruDog and actually exhibiting some HTFU and winning after being solo for like 105 laps.

Pain Train

2011-07-09T08:33:00.001-07:00

Time to bring the pain train.

Time to show us who is boss

2011-07-08T10:46:00.000-07:00

Robert Trombley has confidently predicted that either FareStart or The Garage will take our Swagger tomorrow at Redmond Derby and show us a clean set of wheels. Over the top trash talk blogging aside, I would rather lose a hard, fast race than dominate a docile field. That's always a risk when a team starts rolling off wins like we have -- other teams get down. Nicos had a great Matava getting 2nd behind Jim. But sometimes a 2nd place feels like a bad result if you got beat by the same team over and over again.

It's not! It's a great result. And we've been rolling but we're not unbeatable. And if you need motivation what the hell is up with that obnoxious "on a bike" post? Are you gonna let us get away with that? No Way! You're gonna bring it hard and fast just like we are and it's gonna be another smash mouth show down.

Risk Blogging

2011-07-08T10:45:00.001-07:00

My professional bloggification has another post up.

Guest Commenters

2011-07-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

Just a reminder, I am always looking for guest bloggers willing to help keep the level of humor up. Cycling's hard so we might as well be able to joke about it.

Thanks

2011-07-05T17:06:00.000-07:00

A quick break from (tongue in cheek) snark and boasting to thank everyone for their help and support for P-Puppy. He hit the deck hard on the last lap of Matava and broke his arm and helmet. He's ok and in great spirits. I want to especially thank SCCA/SBUX Ed for triaging the scene and literally holding Aidan while the medics and I jogged over. Thanks to the medics for being so on it. Thanks to Highline Medical for not sucking. And thanks to everyone for calling, facebooking and otherwise caring. And a special thanks to Max for offering to come out and give him a pep talk. That was really cool. For all the smack talk and bitching the community is pretty awesome. Thanks guys.

Now don't let anyone know I actually like everyone.

Also, if anyone knows which kid Aidan got tangled with let him (the other kid) know it wasn't his fault. Aidan certainly doesn't think so or blame him in anyway. It happens; it's bike racing.

Movies I've Seen

2011-07-05T16:57:00.001-07:00

I think I saw more movies in the last 90 days than I have in the last 3 years. In case you care here's my stack ranked order of awesome and quickie reviews:

1. X-Men: First Class - great especially if you judge it based on the information given in movie. Yes, Magneto is the hero and Prof. X is kind of an ass-hole. Everyone complaining that the end leaves us with a very white, male X-Men and a diverse Brotherhood misses the point. The X-Men can preach peace and co-existence with humans because they can hide their mutancy.

2. Bridesmaids - shocked and stunned by how much I liked it. Very much like the hang-over but more real. Dissenting opinion from Mrs. Darth Tubbs who was disturbed and shocked by the gutter humor. Keep in mind, she is way classier than I am.

3. Thor - I saw this one three times. Kicked ass. And Mrs. PruDog liked it too! No word from Mrs. Darth Tubbs. What does it say about me that I thought Loki had a legitate gripe, even if he was a complete nutjob by the end.

4. Green Lantern - good, not great. Certainly better than any of the Transformers movies. I think this one suffers from too many people bringing too much baggage to it.

5. Battlefield LA - great man-date material. I learned that when it hits the fan, all you need is Harvey Dent and some kick-ass marines. Thank god the aliens forgot how to hide behind stuff about 2/3rds of the way in.

6. Transformers 3 sucked. I understand that Michael Bay objectifies everything but my god man. You are a Grade A asshole. My respect for Megan Fox actually went up after she left the movie over his desire to tart her up more than she was comfortable with. MEGAN FOX. Seriously.

Killer Rohrbot Island Blogging

2011-07-05T15:57:00.000-07:00

Are you beginning to feel like Samuel L. Jackson every time Keller Rohrback p/b Pain Train? Did you just have your awesome plan to jack out lead out up by attacking us from the gun jumped by our guys jumping first? And then relentlessly attacking only to start the lead-out with 5 laps to go?

Well, Haters Gonna Hate yo and we have only one (way over the top and inappropriate)response:

Oh shit, get your wheels ready
It's about to go down
Everybody in the place hit the fucking start line
But stay on your motherfucking toes
We attacking this, let's go

I'm on a bike, I'm on a bike
Everybody look at me
'Cause I'm sprinting on a bike
I'm on a bike, I'm on a bike
Take a good hard look
At the motherfucking sprint

I'm on a bike motherfucker, take a look at me
Straight flowing on a bike on the criterium
Busting thrity five, wind whipping out my shorts
You can't stop me motherfucker, 'cause I'm on a bike

Take a picture, trick, I'm on a bike, bitch
We drinking Heed champ 'cause it's so crisp
I got my bibs on and my cleaty-kloppies
I'm flipping corners, you at the back
Straight flipping droppies

I'm riding on a bike, doing sprints and shit
This bike's flying, getting everybody all wet
But this ain't Seward, this is real as it gets
We won this crit, motherfucker, don't you ever forget

I'm on a bike and
it's going fast and
I got a green theme, including tires and
We're the kings of the crits, kinda loud like Cipo
If you're got second, then you're sure not us, oh
Get the fuck up, these crits is real

Fuck running, I'm on a bike, motherfucker
Fuck swimming, I rock crits, motherfucker
I'm on the leadout with my boys, motherfucker
This team's engines make noise, motherfucker

Hey ma, if you could see me now
Arms spread wide on the finish line
Gonna fly this bike to the moon somehow
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible

Yeah, never thought I'd win a crit
It's a short fast bike race
Sean Kelly, look at me, oh, all hands on deck
Never thought I'd see the day
When a leadout coming my way
Believe me when I say we owned that bike race

I'm on a bike, I'm on a bike
Everybody look at me
'Cause I'm sprinting on a bike
I'm on a bike, I'm on a bike
Take a good hard look
At my rear wheel

Of course the proper response is to get angry and come out swinging this weekend at Redmond Derby. Maybe have your team watch this video as motivation?

All right, that's out of my system.

I hate the summer blogging

2011-06-30T10:26:00.001-07:00

Ok, I can officially accept that I don't like racing in the heat. I am not complaining that it's hot. Welcome my radioactive yellow ball overlord! But I don't really enjoy racing in it. Or maybe I just like causing pain and all that happens when it's warm is I suffer while the rest of you are feeling fit and fast.

Obviously the best solution for everyone is to start the season in November. Someone make that happen please.

Professional Blogging too

2011-06-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

I promise some more funny blogging soon. In the meantime, here's some professional blogging. I am working hard to keep these short and practical because your attention spans are short and you're just in it to see if your picture is there. Let me know how I suck.

http://blog.vmc.com/2011/06/28/driving-ideas/

Green Lantern: Better than expected

2011-06-23T13:40:00.000-07:00

Spoiler filled thoughts on the new Green Lantern movie. Basically, I thought it was good. Was it as good as The Dark Knight or Spider-Man 2? No. Both those movies were great. But I think that many of the complaints I've seen generically suffer from a retcon (see what I did there? if you did you're a geek.) of previous super hero based movies as better than they were. To me, Green Lantern did the big things right. It took the characters seriously and made an effort to be accessible to people who don't read Green Lantern comics. While I didn't really think Ryan Reynolds was Hal Jordan that's only because I know more than the average moviegoer about the Hal Jordan character.

In fact, most of the specific criticisms I have heard strike me as not just being off base, but seriously suggesting the person making the criticism is an idiot because they were explained in-movie.

The four common complaints I've heard are:

How Did He Get So Awesome So Quick?
Paralax is able to defeat multiple Green Lanterns including a strike force described by Sinestro as the best Lanterns in the corps. Hal, after a very brief training sequence somehow becomes awesome and is able to defeat Parallax.

First, this conflates mastery of the ring itself with tactics. Hal Jordon didn't defeat Parallax because he mastered the ring; he defeated Parallax because he was willing to sacrifice himself in order to do so. This was set-up in the movie both in the scene where he defeated the prototype drone fighters by going above the safe flight ceiling causing both his planes and the drones to stall out and immediately prior when Carol Ferris pointed out his willingness to go outside the rules of engagement as a way to defeat Parallax. This was a skillset he had before becoming a Lantern.

Second, Hal's entire character arc was driven by the realization that the ring did not choose Hal because he was fearless. It chose him because he had the ability to overcome his fear by acknowledging it and fighting on regardless. This wasn't implied -- Carol Ferris gave the speech and then Hal repeated it to the Guardians.

Parallax was able to defeat the other Lanterns because they were afraid, not because they lacked mastery over the ring. Hal beat Parallax because he accepted his fear and, again, realized he would likely die and was willing to make the sacrifice. He even said this prior to engaging Parallax.

Sinestro taking the ring was out of character
I think this is an example of a critique that doesn't hold up in movie. In the movie, Sinestro was a militaristic hero who, when confronted with a challenge, consistently went for the most powerful aggressive solution. He did this in training with Hal. He did it when conferring with the Guardians. And when he learned of the history of Parallax his immediate response was, if fear (the source of Parallax's power) is more powerful than willpower (the source of the Green Lantern power)then they should use it "to keep our sectors safe". There was never any hesitation or indication that this was, in his mind, some kind of last resort. So when he took the yellow ring at the end it was completely consistent with his character in the movie.

I think that too many people are bringing along the history of the character from the comics where Sinestro's fall was long and windy. Also, in the comics Sinestro had gone to the dark side before taking the power of the yellow ring. In the movie continuity it's yellow that corrupts. As explained by Hal in his big speech to the Guardians.

Too Much Going On.

Sorry. Just don't see it. Maybe I just am smarter than most. Then again my 10 year managed to follow it too. So maybe not.

Grand Fondo Paradise

2011-06-23T10:01:00.001-07:00

Update 8/3: So our online flyer was an unintended victim of USACycling's recent website redesign. Basically PDF or Word flyers survived. Ones (Like Gran Fondo Paradise) that used USACYcling's online form died a horrible death.

So yes registration is still open. Closes Thursday at 10pm CST. Links below.

~~If we need to move start to MR field I will email a preregged riders and post on the blog. The directions to MIR Field: the field is located at 42515 72nd Avenue Court East Eatonville WA 98328~~. Parking and start are at the Mashel-Nisqually field as originally planned.

Directions to the Mashel-Nisqually Park field:

Parking will be at the Nisqually- Mashel State Park on the right under the power lines. From North or South on I-5 Take exit 127. Drive east on Hwy 512 for two miles, then take the Pacific Ave./Mt. Rainier exit south. Follow Pacific Ave. about five miles to where the road splits in a "Y." Follow signs for Mt. Rainier (the left branch of the fork) taking Hwy 7 south. Drive about 17 miles, passing Ohop Valley Rd. At the top of the long sweeping hill turn right onto the Mashel Prairie Road on the right side. Go about ¾ of a mile and park on the right side under the power lines.

or

7300 Mashel Prairie Road, Eatonville, WA 98328 (or if that doesn't work just try anything on Mashel Prairie road).

Update 7/12: Here's the online registration link: https://www.usacycling.org/myusac/index.php?pagename=registration&eventid=2557&year=2011

We need you to preregister to ride. The online system requires you to log into your USACycling account before it will take you to registration. We will use WSBA Numbers to keep track of you.

Update 7/5: Here's the Flier. Start will be at the Mashel-Nisqually field (the same as Ronde Ohop). I am asking (no begging) everyone to pre-reg. The $15 is to cover the permit and gas for the support vehicle. The pre-reg link will be up once I get it from USACycling.

Original PostDon't tell Erik Scheller, but Glenwood is cancelled this year (don't worry, it will return in 2012). To replace it we'll be putting on the Gran Fondo Paradise. Why a Grand Fondo? Because that's what the permit called it and the other option was "Fun Ride" and there is no way I am putting on anything fun. There must be pain and suffering or I am out.

The format: A Mass Start at MIR Field in the Ohop Valley. Start at 9am. First one to crosswalk right where the Old Visitor Center used to be "wins". This will effectively be a gentlemans race. There will be some form of support (working on it) and the winner will be showered with love and envy. Rules of the road will be in effect and getting through the park entrance legally will be part of the challenge.

So watch this space for more details as they get posted, probably this week.

Dave Hecht Is Gonna Smack You Up

2011-06-22T07:58:00.000-07:00

Dave Hecht is tired of beating regular cyclist and has decided to start beating various road constructs too. After smacking up a barrier at the Capital Stage Race and showing it who the alpha dog is Dave decided the backside of PR was getting chippy with him and smacked that whinny piece of asphalt up too. Next week I hear he intends to body slam corner one of the state crit just because he can.

I hope all you Old Town riders are taking notes! This is how a hard as nails rider plays the game.

Keller Rohrback Road Race

2011-06-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

The Keller Rohrback Road Race is the first event in the Northwest Summer Cup of races including Glenwood Circuit Race, Boston Harbor and Ronde Ohop that evoke the Belgian tradition of short, fast summer races. Running through the town of Eatonville the race includes a mix of city and country roads. All categories will have team wheels in/team wheels out. Select categories will have Neutral FSA Wheel Support. The organizer is not responsible for wheels or equipment left at the race.

Registration & Surcharges:
Register online at https://www.usacycling.org/myusac/index.php?pagename=registration&eventid=1749&year=2011 (you must log-in to register) or day of at the Medical Billing Center, 200 Center St W, Eatonville, WA 98328. Registration closes 20 minutes before the start of each event. The entry fee includes $3 per rider per day for USA Cycling insurance. A current year USA Cycling Rider Waiver and Release form must be signed by the participant and, if under 18, by the parent or legal guardian.

License: To enter any race for Men Cat 4 and above or Women Cat 3 and above a USAC annual license must be presented. Purchase online at USACycling.org (not for sale at the race). All beginners (Cat 5 Men, Cat 4 Women) may race on one-day license. No exceptions. OBRA riders of any category other than Beginner must present a valid USAC license. Foreign riders must purchase one-day license or present proof of out-of-country insurance. One-day licenses are $10, available at the race.

Numbers & Placement: WSBA numbers will be used. The officials request that both bib numbers be clearly visible placed parallel with your jersey’s side seam on the back and above the pockets. Frame number should be attached per WSBA instructions. Examples of proper placement: http://gcracingllc.com/numberplacement.aspx. Rental numbers are available for a $10 fee ($5 refundable). For out-of-state riders a $5 number refundable deposit will be assessed.

Course description: Race starts at 9am. 11 mile route with a few punchy climbs. Course description & profiles can be found at http://www.mapmyride.com/workout/41140116/.

Wheel Support: Select races will have neutral wheel support provided by FSA. All categories are team wheels in/team wheels out. The organizer is not responsible for wheels or equipment left at the race.

Results: Results will be posted at registration. Results become final 15 minutes after posting. Questions concerning results should be directed to the Chief Judge at the Finish line.

Directions to Race:
Parking will be in Medical Billing Center parking lot located at 200 Center St W, Eatonville, WA 98328. Approx. 1 hour and 50 minutes south of Seattle. Alternate parking is located north and south of the race. No parking on the road.

Rumor Mill Blogging

2011-06-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

We are in the calm before the storm with a month of crits and the Keller Rohrback Road Race just around the corner. And I am B-O-R-E-D. Which is, you know, really bad for someone whose ~~main~~ only contribution to NW Cycling is this crappy blog. But never fear! Randy came up with a great idea.. start the 2012 transfer rumor mill now. Especially timely since the tour is coming up and that's when we usually here all the good team changes info.

So, just between you and me I heard from this guy whose brother totally made up this rumor that Mick Walsh isn't really doing RAW or RAO. Rather, he is hidden away at a secret location putting together his own Masters Super Team consisting of Ian Tubbs, Sean Phillips, Martin Criminale and super star Andrew Martin for 2012.

Instead of focusing on any particular race,series or event type the plan is to field one rider in each race + Mick. That rider will then solo from the field for the win at the start while Mick yells "how do you like me now" at everyone.

Memo to self

2011-06-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

Memo to my body: I will not forgive you for getting old. You suck body!

Can PruDog be Professional

2011-06-17T07:30:00.000-07:00

We'll see, but it turns out someone at VMC thinks I can a) write, b) have an interesting story to tell about running Masters Bicycle team and c) can produce blogposts that are actually professional. I'm skeptical. Nevertheless here is post Numero Uno.

Will this mean less snarky blogging? Probably. But mostly because you are all getting really boring. Except the Cat 4/5's who were complaining bitterly about the number of Cat 1/2 riders racing Masters 35+ at Ballard. I have some patented PruDog advise for our whinning, bike handling challenged new comers.

If you don't want to race with us then register for your own f&^%ing race before it fills up. We weren't racing in your damn race jackass! You were in racing in ours because you were too lazy to pre-reg for the actual Cat 4/5 race. Also, too, newflash: your bike handling sucks. OMG! That crack in the road? Yah, you're not supposed to ride on it. That's a little pro-tip for you. So take that weak ass whiny s&^t somewhere else*.

*Actually,don't. I need you guys doing stupid stuff to drive my blog content. Seriously.

Epic Climb Blogging

2011-06-13T07:25:00.000-07:00

A few notes. First, I appreciate the effort Bikesale.com put into Fail Parade Thursday night. Taking laps off, jumping in at the apex, taking shitty lines and obstructing the riders actually contending the race is usually worthy of, like, 10 individual blog posts and detailed breakdowns of your flaws as a bike rider and a person. And as a bonus, those guys can't even figure out how to buy the same color tires! Hey Joe, can't you guys afford a color wheel or something for the faux-3's?

Unfortunatly Warren "I am not getting hit by Ron's water bottle again" Atkey stole my thunder and berated the BS-boys for me. Lame! That's my job! To review:

Pruitt mocks people mercilessly. Atkey gets hit by waterbottles. It's just the cycle of life, man.

Besides, I got bigger problems than worrying about Bikesales. Hainsworth mentioned I was looking a little pudgey.. but holy crap! I just saw this pic form our ride to Paradise p/b Pain & Suffering and apparently I'm pregnant.

No wonder I was cramping at Seward. I'm not craving pickles yet so that's something I guess.

Also, too, Hone is upset that my blog claims we're the fastest team in Washington. I don't believe that's true. I believe I said KR Masters is the best Masters team in Washington. Ha! But the jokes on us because it turns out Andrew Martin is the best Masters Team in Washington State.

Sex Scandals: Not Just Weiner's Junk Anymore

2011-06-09T14:07:00.000-07:00

The Onion has broken the latest sex scandal in DC. This is some sick s&^t right here. But while my cold, unfeeling, souless self may take great amusement in the tragedy of others I must remind everyone that it's unfair to judge others because man-horse relationships skeeve us out. It's the hypocricy not the sex damnit!

Anti-Gay Senator's Horse Affair Caught On Tape

Update: This one's moving fast with the Senator giving a press conference.

Live: Senator Addresses Rumors Of Horse Affair

Update 2: on a slightly more serious note I will admit to being completely sucked into the whole torid Weiner saga. But, when I read self righteous statements about how Weiner must resign and what a jerk he is for dragging his wife into this scandal I can't help but think.. if anyone is a jerk for dragging his wife through hell it's not Weiner it's the writer of th article for involving her and us for reading it.

Look, we don't know what deal Weiner and his wife have and it's none of our business. It's not how I conduct my personal life but last time but that's ok cause it's not my personal life. So let's not pretend that it's him that's the problem and not our own inability to pry into other peoples secrets.

NW Masters (35+) Power Rankings

2011-06-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

Once again it's time for some Northwest Power rankings. Because, of course, we all need to know who the best is. As always KR Masters is not ranked cause, well, we all know we're the best and I don't want you guys to feel let down losing every month to us in the Rankings.

1. Anthony Weiner. Yah, that's right. Anthong M<&^$###%*ing Weiner. No, he doesn't race Masters. And yes, he actually hates cyclists and is an opponent of bike lanes. On the otherhand have you seen this guys junk?????? We can pretend to be shocked all we want but, frankly, if I had that guys.. er... gifts.. I'd probably be texting, twittering, blogging, facebooking, etc to all of you every 5 minutes.

2. Garage Racing. After that savvy lame win at Ravensdale were you slipped off the front and beat us I am not talking to you guys anymore. Except maybe Nicos. Or Hills. Ok, I'll talk to Matt too. And also Murdin. So, now that I think about I will talk to you but I am still bitter and angry. Unless you bring me pie! Then I will be happy. So when do I get my pie. Also, too, Nicos Finger-fate incedent was obviously a way to fly under the radar while he honed his break-away form and three-up sprint move. Pro-tip: Nico is pretty fast from the break!

3. Andrew Martin. Andrew Martin is strong. And he hates you. And in a major departure from his normal, self-depracating approach, has decided to let us all know we suck. I suggest you guys mark him out. For the rest of his life. Pay no attention to the green guys moving up the left.....

4. Farestart & SCC/SBUX. A gave these guys a tie cause both are riding strong, and have been coming in with solid results.

5. Audi. Where did you guys go Mr. Hall?

6. Flynn's Jeans. There's a huge drop off to Jim's Jeans. Man these things suck. The Lonely Island sums up my feelings about those jeans.

PruArt or PruDefilement

2011-06-08T16:42:00.000-07:00

Jim Flynn, who's love of 80's designer jeans is famous, has responded to my threat to punch his jeans with this photo. Art? Or defilement of your beloved blogster? You decide. Better yet, can anyone do better? Preferably photoshop me onto a boat?

Andrew Martin: When Does The Race Start

2011-06-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys. I am really really sorry for the lack of blogging. Unfortunately none of you have done the stupid crap I rely on to come up with content. So you have on one but yourself to blame. Fortunately, Andrew Martin has stepped into the breach with a thoughtfully worded letter for the masters field after his stunning win Saturday at the Ballard Crit.

When Does The Race Start
by Fake Andrew Martin

Andrew Martin here. Many of you guys know me from racing for locally on Bikesale. You know, I've had a pretty good run. And it's pretty common knowledge that I am pretty talented and train pretty good. But, I still try to downplay my ability and fitness because a lot of fast guys race 1/2. Unlike PruDog I don't need Russell marking me out. In other words I try to keep my form on the down low. Keep the trash talk and proclamations mellow. You know?

But, after my dominate ass kicking of you guys this weekend I gotta say: you guys suck. I mean, holy crap Pruitt. You call that lame ass move you made with 5 to go a jump? You barely managed to get past the Garage and Matt Hill was checking his facebook the whole time. God, reading this blog I thought it would be a challenge. Hey guys, pro tip -- when I attacked your asses I was only pedaling with my left leg just to see if you could keep up. That victory salute? That was me stretching and yawning cause that's just how bored I was.

I heard someone say I am supposed to call this "drinking your milkshake". Yah... no. Milkshakes are delicious. This was more like coming into your house, grabbing a beer and finding out that not-only is it non-alcoholic light beer, but it's warm and flat too.

Oh, and for anyone that thought you'd almost caught me there? Yah.. I actually hit the sanican with one to go. Cause I am just that good. So no more pretending to be undertrained and slow for me. Frankly, I am going to win every Masters race I do this year. I'd say try to stop me but... well I don't want you to all be sad when I crush you.

Thanks for the time.

Try to go harder next time so I at least get a work out.

~Andrew

Pro Tips from an Ex-Pro

2011-06-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

Only 17 guys showed up to race last night. Lucky for us one of them was Russell Stevenson who was kind enough to give us the guidance we need to be the best cyclists we can be. By the way, I'm the kid he sent to the Honey Bucket.

Yah I know, lame posting lately.

Seward Park, you are a fickle mistress

2011-05-26T16:43:00.000-07:00

Tonight I ride Seward Park and get my Samuel L on... (Seward Park being the song...)

Dawson´s Creek - MTV Movie Awards 1998/1999 - MyVideo

Social Conscious Blogging

2011-05-26T09:18:00.001-07:00

PruDog says go ride for a good cause and join the Erickson's to support the Davis Phinney foundation.

Call Me Curveball

2011-05-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

The KR Masters squad threw you a curve last night by ditching the Masters race and rolling 1/2/3 at PR. We may have forgotten to tell Trish, who looked none-to-pleased by herself. Sorry! Our bad.

And that's how we're rolling the rest of the year so throw down amongst yourselves we've got some fish to fry. Now that we're rolling back with the 1/2/3's we feel I feel a gratuitious Lonely Island video coming..

Jamie should be in bed, avoids crashing instead

2011-05-23T15:06:00.000-07:00

Why isn't Jamie resting? This is also why Grant can't have nice things.

$200 Prime gone wrong - Pro / 1/ 2 in Enumclaw Crit 2011 Crash from RideITLikeUstoleIT!!! on Vimeo.

Rested, Recovered and Ready to roll

2011-05-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

That's right. Up until now I have been soft pedalling to prevent running too hot before crit season starts. Well guess what's starting? That's right! Crit season. That means it's really game on this time.

This is Holt S&^t Stuff

2011-05-23T06:02:00.001-07:00

I race a bike and have had no illusions about the drug culture in sports. At the end of the day Lance is one dude but the UCI us a big deal:

"60 Minutes" obtained a letter from USADA in which the Swiss lab which tested Armstrong at the 2001 Tour de Suisse considered Armstrong's sample "suspicious" and "consistent with EPO use". The CBS news program learned that the director of the Swiss lab had met with both Lance Armstrong and team director Johan Bruyneel concerning the test from the Tour de Suisse.

The Swiss lab director has since given a sworn statement to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). "60 Minutes" has learned that the lab director testified that a representative of the UCI wanted the matter of the suspicious test to go no further. The lab director also testified that the meeting between himself, Bruyneel and Armstrong was arranged by the UCI.

Burn it to the ground.

Get Off My Lawn

2011-05-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

Get Off My Lawn by Fake Martin Criminale

I am so tried of all the young 35-40 year old kids who show up to PR now and think they own the place. Who the hell do you think you kids are? I am Martin M*&^%$#%&ing Criminale and I am sick and tired of all these m*&^%$&()ing kinds in the m&^%$#*))ing race. I mean, I was racing this thing in the Masters back when most of them were baby racers. Take Pruitt. Was he racing Masters in 1999? No way. He was riding stupid NRC crap like Willamette. The stupid postal team hadn't even gotten jacked up on the juice yet. That's how lame he was. And Perlman? Rumor has it he spent every day shopping for Mountain Dew, Kelabasa and begging Douglas to get them bikes with seat tubes. Shall I go on? The only one I respect is Hainsworth and he doesn't even race PR. And now these young guns have the SCCA/SBUX riders all jazzed too. It makes me sick to see what my beloved PR has come to. These new kids just have no values, not like Old Town. Those guys know how to ride a Masters race. You chase guys, miss breaks and whatever you do finish ahead of your teammates.

So to all the under-my age riders out there I say: Get Off My Lawn.

Robbed

2011-05-19T16:10:00.000-07:00

I just saw the official BuDu Racing results giving big Jim "White Dynamite" Flynn the Masters PR win. I call foul! This finish line photo clearly shows my toe hitting the line before his front tire. I even posted up in celebration. What kind of junk show are they running down there. I was so good I didn't even bother to use my bike.

My protest is in the mail. Also, go check out (and better yet buy) some photos of yourself here.

This Blog Won't Write Itself

2011-05-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

Busy. Sorry. Watch a video instead.

Guest Blogger

2011-05-17T06:49:00.001-07:00

Blogging quality and quantity has fallen off the last month thanks to my being busy at work, everyone getting blood diseases that require hospitalization and your general unwillingness to do mock-worthy stuff. Lame!

Because I feel like I've truly let you all down I hereby proclaim this guest blogger week. Wanna be a contributor on this stupid blog? Let me know. If you are on OTB and wanna use it to take shots at me I am 99% sure you'll be approved. Hell, I'll probably give you help.

Keller Rohrbach Haka

2011-05-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

Ryan suggests we take our pre-race Swagger to the next level.

Comments

2011-05-15T11:00:00.001-07:00

Apparently comments are disappearifying. Not my doing! I for one welcome your inane and stupid comments written by your pet monkeys. I can even see all the comments in the backend.

So whatever Intertron Gremlin is eating your brilliant prose you'll have to take it up with him/her. I am too lazy to figure it out.

Thirty Minute Crits Suck

2011-05-15T10:51:00.000-07:00

I love the Wenatchee course and definitely wanted to win. Sadly, my legs didn't agree and I lacked that little bit of pop I needed to get over to the winning move. So close, yet so far.

On the other hand the team won! So we've taken both Masters A crits this year. Ronnie put in a savvy move about 15 minutes in and ended up away for a few laps with Nikos before the breaks swelled to 6. Then he won cause Montana guys apparently think that just cause you pull super hard everyone is gonna let you win.

The race was so short that I think the entire team just felt.. well unfulfilled. We were active, but we just never got all our guns going until the last lap and then it was over. Then the rain started and crashes in the womens and Cat 3's convinced most of us to bail on the 1/2 Crit. Mike & Ryan started but quickly decided it wasn't worth it. Next year I am doing the TT and a better warm-up. I didn't realize I'd need to wear myself out before the race just to feel good about it.

I am Epic Win

2011-05-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

Corner 3 again, Lap 6. After watching everyone fall off this guy decides to show them how to keep upright. Epic Win. Watch rider 2.

Crash Videos are so wrong

2011-05-15T10:46:00.001-07:00

but I'm posting anyway.

Here's the Cat 3 race crashing on corner 3 lap 6. Happens quick and shoots uphill. Watch the paint line boys.

PruDog Blog PR Point : Counterpoint

2011-05-13T17:12:00.001-07:00

Point: KR is gonna smack SCCA/SBUX up

That's it. Sean Phillip's and SCCA / SBUX think they can make snarky comments on my blog and get away with it? Oh, no, my friend, that's not gonna fly with me or Keller Rohrback. Those m^&%$##%^&r's are going down, man. Down! Running their mouths off like a little b&^%$es. The f*&^ do they think they are, anyway? SCCA / SBUX need to get their smug little asses owned in the sprint right now, and I don't give a s&*^ which course.. the flats, the hill or in the parking lot in front of his whole f(*&*&g Masters field. Give us 50 minutes, man. We'll teach them to mess with Keller Rohrback.

Enough talk. SCCA/SBUX better watch out, because we're coming, and it's not going to be pretty

Counter-point: Apparently Sean Phillips is stronger than I realized

Well, it appears as though I was somewhat presumptuous about Sean Phillip's winning abilities. Sean, as it turns out, is actually quite an adept last minute attacker, in fact, that while he was snapping my legs with various left and right strokes on the pedals, and pain began to fill my mouth and gush from my nose, I thought to myself, "Sean knows exactly what he's doing here in terms of cycling, whereas I clearly haven't thought this thing through."

I guess my first mistake was attacking a team that, in the interests of full disclosure, is much stronger than I initially gave credit for. I wouldn't be surprised if they all ride 3-4 hours five or six times a week and are enrolled in some sort of cross fit class too. This would certainly explain why he seemed to expend very little energy riding by me, and why he effortlessly put me in hurt locker that caused my morale to make a popping sound that, until that moment, I didn't know it could make.

So, in sum, Sean, you are very good at winning. So good in fact that I was not even close to achieving my initial goal of teaching you a lesson when it comes to messing with Keller Rohrback. If anything, I learned never to mess with Sean, which is a lesson I will not soon forget.

(Shamelessly stolen from the Onion)

PruDog Blog Taxonomy

2011-05-11T14:52:00.000-07:00

In an effort to help you understand this crappy blog here are some technical terms we use. More to add as time goes on.

Hard Candy - tactical advise given out in a less than sensitive manner

Soft Candy - Tactical kudos given out to a team or rider that had their sh*t together

Drank Our Milkshake - Won the race in a savvy or impressive manner.

No Longer To Exist In My Mind - epitaphs to riders or teams that have annoyed us (often by just riding better). coined by Gilberto Simoni referring to Evan Basso

We rode your pony, but in the end Sean drank our milkshake

2011-05-11T14:46:00.000-07:00

As promised KR brought the pain train last night with relentless aggression. It may have seemed like the PruDog was on fire (and he was) but the whole team rolled up their sleeves and got to work.

Yesterday I said we were going to ride your ponies. Well, we did. And it would have worked to if not for that meddling Sean Phillips kid who took advantage of the break getting caught with about 1K to go and Martin Criminale's mammoth effort to come right through us to launch himself right out of the lollipop. I tried to get on, but as soon as I did a bunch of dudes where on me so I let him go and wooshhh... he drank our milkshake.

And is you know, when Sean wants to drink your milkshake you give him the damn milkshake.

We're gonna ride your pony

2011-05-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

The bad news is that we didn't win Ravensdale. That sucked. The good news is we were aggressive and got our swagger back. And after two weeks of being 60% of the PruDog you all know and love/hate my legs have recovered from my early season break and I am back to my ragefilled attacking self.

So be forwarned Masters -- KR is going to ride your ponies all night long and if you guys are aggresive to we're just going to be even more aggresive. Cause that's how we roll. In fact, I am attacking right now.

Who are you? KR vs. Apex Edition

2011-05-09T09:27:00.001-07:00

We told you we'd attack Ravensdale and we did! While 5th place wasn't the result we wanted we were aggresive and that's how we like it. Having said that, there were a few times were guys got upset because they thought we had 5 guys in the break and not three like we did.

As a public service announcement I'd like to make clear that KR is not Apex or Avante. I realize all three have green in the kit but there are a few ways to tell us apart.

1. Our jerseys say KR. Apex has a big A and says Apex. Note than none of the letters are the same. The Apex logo is in a tear drop/swoosh thing. It's actually pretty easy to see.

2. If you see a green jersey in a break and a green jersey chasing then it's a safe bet that it's a KR rider up the road (see pic) and an Apex rider chasing.

3. If you are in a break and two green jerseys are working and three green jerseys are sitting on... the guys driving are KR. The guys sitting in are Apex.

See, easy to tell apart.

Much Inspirational

2011-05-06T11:10:00.000-07:00

Seeing Ian dominate the commute to work the way he dominates you at Seward is much inspirational and reminds me of Leroy.

Swagger: Give It Back

2011-05-05T14:13:00.000-07:00

After a Swaggerific March and early April I feel that the Killer Rohrbots have gotten complacent. Everyone is riding hard and it's easy to sit on the couch and enjoy the ride. But I say to thee NAY!!!!!! By the might of Mjolnir this must not stand. As Fake Robert Velez has proclaimed we must smack you all up! It doesn't matter how much emotional & physical damage we inflict on our own fragile psyches. It's time. It's on. Like Megatron. Not Donkey Kong, I hate that game.

My goal is no longer to win Ravensdale. It is to attack so hard that even Old Town won't chase. Now, you know that you want to attack too. So get on my pain train!

Also, fake Robert Velez said you are all slow and need to ride even harder.

Ravensdale: PR just longer

2011-05-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

And that's how I am gonna race. So, yah, probably attacking at the start even if it's neutral. Also Charlie Sheen vs. Deadpool FTW.

There's a little bit of Leroy in all of us.

2011-05-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

Tuesday World's was fun. No we didn't win. In fact I think we got shut out of the top 10 for the first time this year in any race. But, you know, that's cause you guys are riding hard. I thought Old Town rode really well despite coming up empty handed so only hard candy for them today. Kudo's to Tom Corke who's riding alone and been nibbling at the edges and finally got the big W. Mirante surprised us all by going uphill fast after putting in some digs. And special call-out to Sean Phillips who road the front quite a bit and still took a prime and rode well.

Of course I would be remiss if I didn't note that, once again, the 1/2/3 field couldn't hold off our hate fueled speed. Except Karl who, unlike Ian, has proved he is an all-around weekday world champion.

Update: I have been informed it's Tony Corke not Tom Corke. Listen, it's my blog and I'll call people whatever I want. I don't even bother getting my own team-mates names right. Right?

Super Secrets of Panther Squad Revealed

2011-05-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

Here's an exclusive peak into our tactics tonight at PR: we're gonna attack. Shocking, I know.

Long days and light blogging

2011-05-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

Not sure why Longbranch turned into an all day event (well, maybe it was cause we went to O'Callahans and watched Brian get pwnd by the waitress) but it did. When I got home Mrs. PruDog had this stressed out stare and I quickly realized PruPuppy 2.0 was wound like a top and slowly driving mom insane. So better things to do that entertain you guys.

Short summary of the weekend though -- we hoped for better at Longbranch but in the end got 10th with Velez. The reality is this course doesn't suit us well so that was an objectively good result. The race played out more or less as we expected and was even won by my pre-race favorite Michael Emde. Subjectively though, it's hard to accept that we had limited options and those were all low percentage. Next time you ask why we aren't at a hilly race.. well that's why!

Also kudo's to OTB. I am fully aware of the love/hate target I have on my back but (as I've said) I actually like most of the guys and I wouldn't even bother handing out hard candy if I didn't think a few of their riders weren't better than their results. You guys put on a great race, as always, and I love that course even if it doesn't love me back.

I Have Won The 98105

2011-04-29T13:18:00.001-07:00

I was honestly just minding my own business surfing USACycling to check the status of my three races when I see that neat little ranking. Once again I am #1 in the 98105, a zip code that includes Ronnie Schmeer. Suck it Ronnie.

I won't ask how I can possibly be the 13th ranked Cat 2 in WA State when I haven't done a Cat 1/2 race all year but... well I am so all you others can suck my awesome sauce.

Why Panthers Can't Have Nice Things

2011-04-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

I see Ian & his Mane of Awesomeness is flipping me crap about the Masters side of the KR house pushing to limit less often than the Epic Win of the 1/2 team. I would respond but I remember what happened the last time Ian & I sat down to chat.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Bradley Cooper from Between Two Ferns

As you can see it didn't end well for me.