Thursday, June 30, 2011

I hate the summer blogging

Ok, I can officially accept that I don't like racing in the heat. I am not complaining that it's hot. Welcome my radioactive yellow ball overlord! But I don't really enjoy racing in it. Or maybe I just like causing pain and all that happens when it's warm is I suffer while the rest of you are feeling fit and fast.

Obviously the best solution for everyone is to start the season in November. Someone make that happen please.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Professional Blogging too

I promise some more funny blogging soon. In the meantime, here's some professional blogging. I am working hard to keep these short and practical because your attention spans are short and you're just in it to see if your picture is there. Let me know how I suck.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Green Lantern: Better than expected

Spoiler filled thoughts on the new Green Lantern movie. Basically, I thought it was good. Was it as good as The Dark Knight or Spider-Man 2? No. Both those movies were great. But I think that many of the complaints I've seen generically suffer from a retcon (see what I did there? if you did you're a geek.) of previous super hero based movies as better than they were. To me, Green Lantern did the big things right. It took the characters seriously and made an effort to be accessible to people who don't read Green Lantern comics. While I didn't really think Ryan Reynolds was Hal Jordan that's only because I know more than the average moviegoer about the Hal Jordan character.

In fact, most of the specific criticisms I have heard strike me as not just being off base, but seriously suggesting the person making the criticism is an idiot because they were explained in-movie.

The four common complaints I've heard are:

How Did He Get So Awesome So Quick?
Paralax is able to defeat multiple Green Lanterns including a strike force described by Sinestro as the best Lanterns in the corps. Hal, after a very brief training sequence somehow becomes awesome and is able to defeat Parallax.

First, this conflates mastery of the ring itself with tactics. Hal Jordon didn't defeat Parallax because he mastered the ring; he defeated Parallax because he was willing to sacrifice himself in order to do so. This was set-up in the movie both in the scene where he defeated the prototype drone fighters by going above the safe flight ceiling causing both his planes and the drones to stall out and immediately prior when Carol Ferris pointed out his willingness to go outside the rules of engagement as a way to defeat Parallax. This was a skillset he had before becoming a Lantern.

Second, Hal's entire character arc was driven by the realization that the ring did not choose Hal because he was fearless. It chose him because he had the ability to overcome his fear by acknowledging it and fighting on regardless. This wasn't implied -- Carol Ferris gave the speech and then Hal repeated it to the Guardians.

Parallax was able to defeat the other Lanterns because they were afraid, not because they lacked mastery over the ring. Hal beat Parallax because he accepted his fear and, again, realized he would likely die and was willing to make the sacrifice. He even said this prior to engaging Parallax.

Sinestro taking the ring was out of character
I think this is an example of a critique that doesn't hold up in movie. In the movie, Sinestro was a militaristic hero who, when confronted with a challenge, consistently went for the most powerful aggressive solution. He did this in training with Hal. He did it when conferring with the Guardians. And when he learned of the history of Parallax his immediate response was, if fear (the source of Parallax's power) is more powerful than willpower (the source of the Green Lantern power)then they should use it "to keep our sectors safe". There was never any hesitation or indication that this was, in his mind, some kind of last resort. So when he took the yellow ring at the end it was completely consistent with his character in the movie.

I think that too many people are bringing along the history of the character from the comics where Sinestro's fall was long and windy. Also, in the comics Sinestro had gone to the dark side before taking the power of the yellow ring. In the movie continuity it's yellow that corrupts. As explained by Hal in his big speech to the Guardians.

Too Much Going On.

Sorry. Just don't see it. Maybe I just am smarter than most. Then again my 10 year managed to follow it too. So maybe not.

Grand Fondo Paradise

Update 8/3: So our online flyer was an unintended victim of USACycling's recent website redesign. Basically PDF or Word flyers survived. Ones (Like Gran Fondo Paradise) that used USACYcling's online form died a horrible death.

So yes registration is still open. Closes Thursday at 10pm CST. Links below.

If we need to move start to MR field I will email a preregged riders and post on the blog. The directions to MIR Field: the field is located at 42515 72nd Avenue Court East Eatonville WA 98328. Parking and start are at the Mashel-Nisqually field as originally planned.

Directions to the Mashel-Nisqually Park field:

Parking will be at the Nisqually- Mashel State Park on the right under the power lines. From North or South on I-5 Take exit 127. Drive east on Hwy 512 for two miles, then take the Pacific Ave./Mt. Rainier exit south. Follow Pacific Ave. about five miles to where the road splits in a "Y." Follow signs for Mt. Rainier (the left branch of the fork) taking Hwy 7 south. Drive about 17 miles, passing Ohop Valley Rd. At the top of the long sweeping hill turn right onto the Mashel Prairie Road on the right side. Go about ¾ of a mile and park on the right side under the power lines.


7300 Mashel Prairie Road, Eatonville, WA 98328 (or if that doesn't work just try anything on Mashel Prairie road).

Update 7/12: Here's the online registration link:

We need you to preregister to ride. The online system requires you to log into your USACycling account before it will take you to registration. We will use WSBA Numbers to keep track of you.

Update 7/5: Here's the Flier. Start will be at the Mashel-Nisqually field (the same as Ronde Ohop). I am asking (no begging) everyone to pre-reg. The $15 is to cover the permit and gas for the support vehicle. The pre-reg link will be up once I get it from USACycling.

Original PostDon't tell Erik Scheller, but Glenwood is cancelled this year (don't worry, it will return in 2012). To replace it we'll be putting on the Gran Fondo Paradise. Why a Grand Fondo? Because that's what the permit called it and the other option was "Fun Ride" and there is no way I am putting on anything fun. There must be pain and suffering or I am out.

The format: A Mass Start at MIR Field in the Ohop Valley. Start at 9am. First one to crosswalk right where the Old Visitor Center used to be "wins". This will effectively be a gentlemans race. There will be some form of support (working on it) and the winner will be showered with love and envy. Rules of the road will be in effect and getting through the park entrance legally will be part of the challenge.

So watch this space for more details as they get posted, probably this week.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Dave Hecht Is Gonna Smack You Up

Dave Hecht is tired of beating regular cyclist and has decided to start beating various road constructs too. After smacking up a barrier at the Capital Stage Race and showing it who the alpha dog is Dave decided the backside of PR was getting chippy with him and smacked that whinny piece of asphalt up too. Next week I hear he intends to body slam corner one of the state crit just because he can.

I hope all you Old Town riders are taking notes! This is how a hard as nails rider plays the game.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Keller Rohrback Road Race

The Keller Rohrback Road Race is the first event in the Northwest Summer Cup of races including Glenwood Circuit Race, Boston Harbor and Ronde Ohop that evoke the Belgian tradition of short, fast summer races. Running through the town of Eatonville the race includes a mix of city and country roads. All categories will have team wheels in/team wheels out. Select categories will have Neutral FSA Wheel Support. The organizer is not responsible for wheels or equipment left at the race.

Registration & Surcharges:
Register online at (you must log-in to register) or day of at the Medical Billing Center, 200 Center St W, Eatonville, WA 98328. Registration closes 20 minutes before the start of each event. The entry fee includes $3 per rider per day for USA Cycling insurance. A current year USA Cycling Rider Waiver and Release form must be signed by the participant and, if under 18, by the parent or legal guardian.

License: To enter any race for Men Cat 4 and above or Women Cat 3 and above a USAC annual license must be presented. Purchase online at (not for sale at the race). All beginners (Cat 5 Men, Cat 4 Women) may race on one-day license. No exceptions. OBRA riders of any category other than Beginner must present a valid USAC license. Foreign riders must purchase one-day license or present proof of out-of-country insurance. One-day licenses are $10, available at the race.

Numbers & Placement: WSBA numbers will be used. The officials request that both bib numbers be clearly visible placed parallel with your jersey’s side seam on the back and above the pockets. Frame number should be attached per WSBA instructions. Examples of proper placement: Rental numbers are available for a $10 fee ($5 refundable). For out-of-state riders a $5 number refundable deposit will be assessed.

Course description: Race starts at 9am. 11 mile route with a few punchy climbs. Course description & profiles can be found at

Wheel Support: Select races will have neutral wheel support provided by FSA. All categories are team wheels in/team wheels out. The organizer is not responsible for wheels or equipment left at the race.

Results: Results will be posted at registration. Results become final 15 minutes after posting. Questions concerning results should be directed to the Chief Judge at the Finish line.

Directions to Race:
Parking will be in Medical Billing Center parking lot located at 200 Center St W, Eatonville, WA 98328. Approx. 1 hour and 50 minutes south of Seattle. Alternate parking is located north and south of the race. No parking on the road.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Rumor Mill Blogging

We are in the calm before the storm with a month of crits and the Keller Rohrback Road Race just around the corner. And I am B-O-R-E-D. Which is, you know, really bad for someone whose main only contribution to NW Cycling is this crappy blog. But never fear! Randy came up with a great idea.. start the 2012 transfer rumor mill now. Especially timely since the tour is coming up and that's when we usually here all the good team changes info.

So, just between you and me I heard from this guy whose brother totally made up this rumor that Mick Walsh isn't really doing RAW or RAO. Rather, he is hidden away at a secret location putting together his own Masters Super Team consisting of Ian Tubbs, Sean Phillips, Martin Criminale and super star Andrew Martin for 2012.

Instead of focusing on any particular race,series or event type the plan is to field one rider in each race + Mick. That rider will then solo from the field for the win at the start while Mick yells "how do you like me now" at everyone.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Memo to self

Memo to my body: I will not forgive you for getting old. You suck body!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Can PruDog be Professional

We'll see, but it turns out someone at VMC thinks I can a) write, b) have an interesting story to tell about running Masters Bicycle team and c) can produce blogposts that are actually professional. I'm skeptical. Nevertheless here is post Numero Uno.

Will this mean less snarky blogging? Probably. But mostly because you are all getting really boring. Except the Cat 4/5's who were complaining bitterly about the number of Cat 1/2 riders racing Masters 35+ at Ballard. I have some patented PruDog advise for our whinning, bike handling challenged new comers.

If you don't want to race with us then register for your own f&^%ing race before it fills up. We weren't racing in your damn race jackass! You were in racing in ours because you were too lazy to pre-reg for the actual Cat 4/5 race. Also, too, newflash: your bike handling sucks. OMG! That crack in the road? Yah, you're not supposed to ride on it. That's a little pro-tip for you. So take that weak ass whiny s&^t somewhere else*.

*Actually,don't. I need you guys doing stupid stuff to drive my blog content. Seriously.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Epic Climb Blogging

A few notes. First, I appreciate the effort put into Fail Parade Thursday night. Taking laps off, jumping in at the apex, taking shitty lines and obstructing the riders actually contending the race is usually worthy of, like, 10 individual blog posts and detailed breakdowns of your flaws as a bike rider and a person. And as a bonus, those guys can't even figure out how to buy the same color tires! Hey Joe, can't you guys afford a color wheel or something for the faux-3's?

Unfortunatly Warren "I am not getting hit by Ron's water bottle again" Atkey stole my thunder and berated the BS-boys for me. Lame! That's my job! To review:

Pruitt mocks people mercilessly. Atkey gets hit by waterbottles. It's just the cycle of life, man.

Besides, I got bigger problems than worrying about Bikesales. Hainsworth mentioned I was looking a little pudgey.. but holy crap! I just saw this pic form our ride to Paradise p/b Pain & Suffering and apparently I'm pregnant.

No wonder I was cramping at Seward. I'm not craving pickles yet so that's something I guess.

Also, too, Hone is upset that my blog claims we're the fastest team in Washington. I don't believe that's true. I believe I said KR Masters is the best Masters team in Washington. Ha! But the jokes on us because it turns out Andrew Martin is the best Masters Team in Washington State.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Sex Scandals: Not Just Weiner's Junk Anymore

The Onion has broken the latest sex scandal in DC. This is some sick s&^t right here. But while my cold, unfeeling, souless self may take great amusement in the tragedy of others I must remind everyone that it's unfair to judge others because man-horse relationships skeeve us out. It's the hypocricy not the sex damnit!

Anti-Gay Senator's Horse Affair Caught On Tape

Update: This one's moving fast with the Senator giving a press conference.

Live: Senator Addresses Rumors Of Horse Affair

Update 2: on a slightly more serious note I will admit to being completely sucked into the whole torid Weiner saga. But, when I read self righteous statements about how Weiner must resign and what a jerk he is for dragging his wife into this scandal I can't help but think.. if anyone is a jerk for dragging his wife through hell it's not Weiner it's the writer of th article for involving her and us for reading it.

Look, we don't know what deal Weiner and his wife have and it's none of our business. It's not how I conduct my personal life but last time but that's ok cause it's not my personal life. So let's not pretend that it's him that's the problem and not our own inability to pry into other peoples secrets.

NW Masters (35+) Power Rankings

Once again it's time for some Northwest Power rankings. Because, of course, we all need to know who the best is. As always KR Masters is not ranked cause, well, we all know we're the best and I don't want you guys to feel let down losing every month to us in the Rankings.

1. Anthony Weiner. Yah, that's right. Anthong M<&^$###%*ing Weiner. No, he doesn't race Masters. And yes, he actually hates cyclists and is an opponent of bike lanes. On the otherhand have you seen this guys junk?????? We can pretend to be shocked all we want but, frankly, if I had that guys.. er... gifts.. I'd probably be texting, twittering, blogging, facebooking, etc to all of you every 5 minutes.

2. Garage Racing. After that savvy lame win at Ravensdale were you slipped off the front and beat us I am not talking to you guys anymore. Except maybe Nicos. Or Hills. Ok, I'll talk to Matt too. And also Murdin. So, now that I think about I will talk to you but I am still bitter and angry. Unless you bring me pie! Then I will be happy. So when do I get my pie. Also, too, Nicos Finger-fate incedent was obviously a way to fly under the radar while he honed his break-away form and three-up sprint move. Pro-tip: Nico is pretty fast from the break!

3. Andrew Martin. Andrew Martin is strong. And he hates you. And in a major departure from his normal, self-depracating approach, has decided to let us all know we suck. I suggest you guys mark him out. For the rest of his life. Pay no attention to the green guys moving up the left.....

4. Farestart & SCC/SBUX. A gave these guys a tie cause both are riding strong, and have been coming in with solid results.

5. Audi. Where did you guys go Mr. Hall?

6. Flynn's Jeans. There's a huge drop off to Jim's Jeans. Man these things suck. The Lonely Island sums up my feelings about those jeans.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

PruArt or PruDefilement

Jim Flynn, who's love of 80's designer jeans is famous, has responded to my threat to punch his jeans with this photo. Art? Or defilement of your beloved blogster? You decide. Better yet, can anyone do better? Preferably photoshop me onto a boat?

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Andrew Martin: When Does The Race Start

Hey Guys. I am really really sorry for the lack of blogging. Unfortunately none of you have done the stupid crap I rely on to come up with content. So you have on one but yourself to blame. Fortunately, Andrew Martin has stepped into the breach with a thoughtfully worded letter for the masters field after his stunning win Saturday at the Ballard Crit.

When Does The Race Start
by Fake Andrew Martin

Andrew Martin here. Many of you guys know me from racing for locally on Bikesale. You know, I've had a pretty good run. And it's pretty common knowledge that I am pretty talented and train pretty good. But, I still try to downplay my ability and fitness because a lot of fast guys race 1/2. Unlike PruDog I don't need Russell marking me out. In other words I try to keep my form on the down low. Keep the trash talk and proclamations mellow. You know?

But, after my dominate ass kicking of you guys this weekend I gotta say: you guys suck. I mean, holy crap Pruitt. You call that lame ass move you made with 5 to go a jump? You barely managed to get past the Garage and Matt Hill was checking his facebook the whole time. God, reading this blog I thought it would be a challenge. Hey guys, pro tip -- when I attacked your asses I was only pedaling with my left leg just to see if you could keep up. That victory salute? That was me stretching and yawning cause that's just how bored I was.

I heard someone say I am supposed to call this "drinking your milkshake". Yah... no. Milkshakes are delicious. This was more like coming into your house, grabbing a beer and finding out that not-only is it non-alcoholic light beer, but it's warm and flat too.

Oh, and for anyone that thought you'd almost caught me there? Yah.. I actually hit the sanican with one to go. Cause I am just that good. So no more pretending to be undertrained and slow for me. Frankly, I am going to win every Masters race I do this year. I'd say try to stop me but... well I don't want you to all be sad when I crush you.

Thanks for the time.

Try to go harder next time so I at least get a work out.


Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Pro Tips from an Ex-Pro

Only 17 guys showed up to race last night. Lucky for us one of them was Russell Stevenson who was kind enough to give us the guidance we need to be the best cyclists we can be. By the way, I'm the kid he sent to the Honey Bucket.

Yah I know, lame posting lately.