Friday, January 25, 2008

Team Panda Bear Express is Teh Awesome

Perhaps you guys didn't get the memo but Team Panda Bear Express is going to rock your worlds. I am not sure that's the real team name, but Chad Nikolz is the team conductor now and all I know is he was saying something about punching your ticket old skool style. Yo. Yah, he meant you. No, not you. You. Yah you over there. So get ready to get beaten down Stangle-dizzle style with a side helping of Old Guy getting all semi-licious on your ass. And don't forget the Dux, who'll tell you how it is and The Schmirnov who remembers that time you said something about not knowing who he was. He was a pro bike racer back when it was cool Suckah and yoou are going in the ditch now.

What's that you say? Where's mr. boots? Mr. Boots is goin' pro baby so that just means cool JZO is going to half to drop your ass Time Trial style. But don't worry, of you need a place to go cry he can help you buy a house yo. I said Yo!

And don't even get me started on Ongers. That boy will pee in his own helmet if it means taking it downtown. Fordizzle.

Me? Well I am going to sit back, eat twinkies and post trash talk on the internet like my mentor Terry B!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Old Dude 1 - Truck 0

Old Dude (no not you OAD) invited me to join him on a ride yesterday. Now, many of you know I am now fat and slow (and happily so), so I figured what the hell could possibly happen? Sure, Old Dude is famed for crashing in every crit he has ever done but at slow speeds on a training ride what could go wrong?

Little did I know Old Dude isn't the natural he claims to be. He actually does crashing drills. Sadly, his victim for today was the driver of a tractor trailer. Now, Old Dude is really good. Sure, we were riding down a long stretch of road with uninterupted right of way. And sure, the driver had a stop sign. And sure, that stop sign means you have to stop *and* wait until you can safely enter the lane without impeding oncoming traffic. But damnit, we saw him stopped and everyone knows the real rules of the road make it clear that bikes have to stop for trucks even if the bikes have right of way. I mean, what was he supposed to do, wait the extra 3 seconds for the lane to actually be clear?

Old Guy, you suck.

My only regret is that despite the drivers very clear and articulate argument that he had stopped and therefore had the god given right to proceed despite the law the cops sided with Old Guy. Dammit.

And now Old Guy gets a new powertap, courtesy of semi guy.

Well I guess all I can say is Old Guy.. I salute you.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

No bloggin'

Stoked has warned me that I am perilously close to losing my coveted link from many of the fine local NW blogs. Apparently, it would be my own fault since I was the one who came up with the 1 month no posts no linky linky rule.


Well, I've been doing it for you. See I know you guys need to focus on training and since I don't ride anymore (other than my car 2 blocks down the street to the Duchess to eat fatty foods and drink hi-calorie beer) all I have to talk about is politics and how Audi has provided me with yet another opportunity to humiliate them in court.

I am pretty sure that you don't want to hear my political analysis. And while I am certainly enjoying the schedefraud of Audi AG being complete dicks and then getting smacked by the court it is really getting kind of sad. I mean, I get it. They hate me and basically are gonna reject every warranty claim out of hand. But sweet jesus you'd think they'd come up with a reason and not send me emails and letters that didn't, well, basically admit I'm right but try to pawn the responsibility off on someone else. It hasn't worked yet.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Teh Awesome

Now that Howie is back, will I get to see a mano-yi-mano showdown between Him and Obama to determine who is really Teh Awesome?

Update: OK, I read that post and wondered how many people will think I mispelled "the" and not get the reference. And then I thought... how long before "teh" actually becomes the correct spelling of "the"? Is this how spelling in the english language got so messed up to begin with? Is it the result of bad copy editing back in the days of scrolls and parchment? Stoked???? I need answers!

Monday, January 07, 2008

I think this is good news

On the few occasions I met Jim I found him to be a nice guy. I also thought he fit in at Walmart very well. Therefore I think this is good news for Teh Bux

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Prediction Bloggin'

Since my Blog prediction record is so steller I am stickin' to this new career. Today's prediction:

Redskins beat Hawks.

Now before you rail on me keep in mind how much good my prediction did Edwards. As a homer I think it is in the Hawks best interest that I pick the 'Skins.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

My Iowa Predictions

Despite it's famously arcane and volatile nature I am going to stick my nose out and predict Edwards to win Iowa, with Obama 2nd and Clinton 3rd.

Further I am going to predict a winning margin of 3-5 points, with perhaps another 5 point to Clinton. I am much more solid on Clinton finishing 8-10 behind the winner than the first and second place margin.

My reasoning? Well here goes...

Primaries, especially caususes, are party primaries, not general elections, and draw from partisan voters. Those voting are dedicated democrats (or republicans in the Repub caucus).

Among partisan democrats, Hillary Clinton is not well liked. She is remembered as a hard person to deal with who doesn't like being questioned and doesn't take advise well. Plus, as much as Democrats remember Big Dog fondly, I think a lot of them blame the Clintonista's for focusing too much on building their own partisan base to the detriment of the Democrat party.

Now, Obama is charismatic and people like him. He's a great speaker. But the increased scrutiny on his policy initiatives, campaign rhetoric and voting record in Illinois are revealing him to be, well, pretty conservative and pro-business (by that I mean he seems to buy into the idea that corporations have the same rights as individuals and are naturally moral). His defenders seem to either a) ignore the evidence presented to them and rant on about how we need to have faith in The Obama or b) attribute this analysis to a misunderstanding of Obama's tactical genius which will bring all the low-information independents and disenfranchised republicans by putting a soft face on the Dem party.

But, as Howard Deam learned to his dismay, Iowa is won with the support of partisan democrats and Obama seems to be losing support among that group. If Obama wins in Iowa I suspect it will be due to the votes he gets from "non-viable candidate" supporters.

That leaves Edwards who is, in fact, the mosr liberal/progressive candidate and has proven support, i.e. people who have a history of showing up at the actual caucus and voting. His weakness is that none of the non-viable candidates seem to be inclined to support him.

So there you go. Feel free to let me know how wrong I was.

Update I: Looks like prediction is kind of sorta looking good. The margins look right, and my specific prediction about Hillary finishing way back in 3rd looks correct. As I said, I suspect Edwards to win, but wouldn't be surprised if Obama pulled it out on the strength of 2nd round votes which appears to be the early trend.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

A Family New Years

Nothing says New Years like multiple trips to the the ER.

New Years Eve: PPuppy 2.0 meet Mr. Window Ledge.

New Years Day: Puppy 2.0 meet Mrs. Projectile Vomitting.

Personally, I think PPuppy 2.0 was mailing the PV in. She had to have had at least 1/10th of her stomach contents left when she stopped.....

But not to worry. Unlike Mom and Dad, PPuppy is not the least bit traumatized by the experience.